On The Matter Of Climbing Mountains

I spent the better part of the last year breaking out of my shell and transforming my life into something better.  I made a lot of new friends, met some awesome people - I even had some memorable romance with a couple of great women.  I also cut out a couple of people that were like poison in my life - users and manipulaters who couldn't admit they were wrong if you put a gun to their heads.  A particularly nasty ex "friend" has pretty much destroyed my reputation - he mixes "concern" with subtle character attacks in just such a way where you can't help but believe him.  Hell, I spent years believing every word he said - so it's not like I blame most of the people who believe his bullshit.  I feel like in my journey forward, he was a mountain in the middle of the trail. 

Sure, I could have taken a different path, maybe gone around the mountain and found some way to keep from cutting him completely out of my life... but then I would have poison steadily seaping into me, plus I wouldn't have gained the strength and vision that came with climbing over him.  Now, my metaphorical legs are bruised, and I'm collapsed in a heap at my hastily set up basecamp on the other side of the mountain... but at the same time, I'm free.  My vision is clear, and I've learned some powerful lessons about trust.

Point is, I'm not ready to move forward... and I'm strangely okay with that.  Eventually, I want to build some good and lasting friendships - and of course find love again, but for now I'm on full recharge mode as I get ready to scale my next mountain - with stronger legs this time :).

MovingForward28 MovingForward28
26-30, M
Mar 8, 2010