...and I Am Tired Of Being Judged For It.

I was raised in a nonreligious family, and taught to make my own decisions. I have studied many different religions, but none of them have appealed to me to the point of joining. I do not judge those who choose religion, I just don't want to be a part of one. I am tired of being judged harshly because of my lack of religious belief, rather than being judged off my personality, morals, or life choices.

I am engaged to a Christian, and am fully supportive of him, because he enjoys the feeling of faith and the Christian community. He still has not found a church in the community that he fully enjoys, so I often try out churches with him, so he does not have to go alone. This opens up lots of opportunities for people to criticize me, especially when they ask our religious background. What's worse is that when they discover that my fiance is planning on marrying a non-Christian, the talk of sin begins. Not only do I get attacked about not being a Christian, my fiance gets attacked about marrying someone that does not share his religious beliefs. As a result, our relationship has often suffered simply because of other people's reaction to our religious differences. Many times, my fiance has had to leave a congregation because of my lack of religious beliefs.

I am just tired of being attacked for my lack of religion, and tired of the attacks on my fiance because he loves me.
kaseyrose kaseyrose
22-25, F
6 Responses Jan 19, 2013

I prefer my mornings "yoked" sunny-side up with toast and bacon.

You both appear to be very open-minded and understanding. I sense a desire for community and belonging. Not only is that natural, but it's cool, too. If one "needs" to attend church to fulfill these basic needs, then so be it. History, and some of the responses to your posting, shows that church is not the best place for open-minded individuals to find what they're looking for.

Please do a quick study of "Unitarian Universalism" (Wikipedia) and find a local church if it piques your interest. You will not find any hypocrisy behind the line "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

Source: Atheist married to a Christian, raising two children, one of whom is a young teen looking at the possibility of "becoming" Jewish. She's independently studying Hebrew. Awesome!

Does your boyfriend necessarily need to go to church to practice his faith? Expressing ones faith is excercising good deeds, not going to church. I am not a practicing Christian but have friends who are and that's including a priest and they don't criticise me for my lack of belief. I believe that one can follow ones faith without being religious. These people you describe indicates that they are ultra conservative. Surely there must be more tolerant and liberal churches your bf could attend?

He has tried many churches, but since we live in a smaller community, tolerant and liberal churches are harder to come by.

We have discussed children, and have both agreed that we would let them decide what faith they would like to be. We have also decided that we would each talk to them about how we both feel about religion.

Overall, I would just like for my fiance to be able to practice his faith with other people without judgement.

It is a Christian teaching that Christians should not be yoked with unbelievers. That’s just a Christian teaching. It is in the Bible. So people advising your bf not to marry you is their duty as Christians.
It is not some personal opinion that they have developed independent of their faith.

Now your bf may still decide to marry you, that’s up to him. But Christians believe that their lives will be better if they take Gods advice on the matter.

All Praise The Ancient Of Days

I'm like you. You shouldn't have to endure this rubbish.
Maybe your partner needs to consider whether he can be a believer, but not attend church.
Do you plan to have children? Will they have to conform to this ? What will happen if they don't , but your husband still does ?

Then................. what do you want?