When I Donate Blood I Don't Give 100%

The part of me that's grown too jaded and cynical has essentially blotted out my fear of getting shots. I have bigger concerns now, like when is my freakin' ship going to finally sail in, and will my car last another year without a major tune-up?

I have a vague memory of my brother and I visiting the clinic once and each of us needing a shot.  Although still nervous about needles, I guess I'd been stuck enough times by them, including those humiliating shots in the bum (This was not one of those times, thank God!), that I didn't break down.  My brother, who is three years younger than me, still did cry, however.  I guess that marked my 'experience' and 'maturity' enough to have stayed with me, even though it had to have happened over thirty years ago.

However, that terror of needles was brought home to me whenever my daughter needed a shot or immunization.  When she saw the nurse or doctor preparing one of those, from the very moment a needle was introduced into our environment, she basically melted into tears.  She couldn't yet talk, but the look on her face always conveyed its meaning.  "Here I am, safe with my parents, in a place where people are supposed to be caring for me and keeping me well.  Now it turns out these clinic people are terrorists!  They kill young people with sharp objects that pierce the skin!  And my parents aren't freaking out and getting me the hell out of here?  They're going along with this?  ****!!  (If that word is blotted out, it's the f-bomb.)  Why did today ever happen?  I've hardly lived at all!!"  And she cried and cried through the whole procedure, despite all our reassurances it would be okay. 

My daughter survived, of course, as I did when I hated needles, and as we all do.  But it brought home for me how fearful that can be, especially when people say it's for our health, but the pokey thing sure doesn't look like it has anything to do with staying healthy.  It's the flight-or-flight instinct kicking in, and we're helpless to do either.

Even though I don't worry about needles any more, there's one thing I'll insist on.  Which is that when I donate blood I absolutely refuse to give 100%.  It's enough that I have to sit there with a freakin' needle in my arm, giving up what's mine to those bloody vampires!
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
2 Responses Dec 12, 2012

:-D Poor kid...That is one of the reasons I don't like working with kids...they don't understand.

You were afraid of needles but donate blood? That's very brave!

Well, as the story states, I got over my fear of needles long ago.