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Not Strong Enough To Leave?

Hi all,

I found out my partner was cheating on me a year ago, he begged for another chance and has been trying very hard ever since.

However it doesnt matter what he does now, it cant undo what hes already done, i dont want to be with that kind of person.

One problem, IM WEAK, im sooooo weak I wish I had the strength to say GET OUT, I want to be on my own, we have three children 4 3 and 4 months. I'm so scared of being on my own, of ruining the childrens lives. I wish I was a strong person.

Occasionally I wake up and think, this is it im going to be strong im going to be ok, just me and the girls we'll be fine it lasts a couple of hours!

dollyrose4 dollyrose4 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 20, 2010

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I think that when a partner cheats they aren't always making a 'well thought out' decision regarding the impact of their actions. And your partner may really be sorry. It's up to you to decide if you can work it out, or if you TRULY feel that it would be better if you left. ( and not just for your kids.. for YOU....)

Don't ever think that you are weak just because you can't tell him to leave or leave yourself. The plain fact that you were able to "accept" him after all that's happened, is more than one's strength expected, especially from a woman. Never underestimate your capabilities, especially to love and forgive.

I do not see the problem!



So he had an affair, big deal, I know your hurt and I am sorry for that but you will get over it. If you loved him you would have forgive him wouldn't you, as you haven't then you don't love him and that's probably why he did it.



Ask yourself why he had the affair, something must have been missing that he needed to get somewhere else. Maybe you need to address that.



You could leave him and find someone else, what if they too have an affair, will you leave them, will it ever end?



Don't stay together for the sake of the kids, the last thing they need is to watch mum hate dad for the next how ever many years, they will just think that's how they act when they get married.



You have to do what YOU want to do and if that's leave then go. Now to later.



I hope you have a happy, healthy, long life whatever you decide to do.



ps...maybe you hit the nail on the head when you said "I want to be on my own" and the affair is just an excuse....hope I am wrong!

Hi arnab11, I dont think im strong enough to forgive him either. Im in a mess quite honestly.

if u love him and can feel that he's reallysorry..give him the second chance

Well it won't ever be "okay" once you leave, but that doesn't mean it won't get better.

I understand where you're coming from, and I know it's hard, but chances are he won't ever change. And that can have some serious effects on you not only as a person but medically as well.

Stay strong, even though it may not feel like you are.