Backsliding For The Nth TimeIt's past Christmas and the new year is about to begin. I suppose it was Christmas time so I thought I could cut back a little and hang out on the Q&A section. Prior to this time I had been working but even so, my tendency to surf the net in my spare time is always strong and as such, when I was fired it was all I could do. It's all I seem to want to do. My willpower to do anything else has faded.
I have been sick for the last couple of days in the stomach. The excess drinking must have done a number on it, not to mention the LSD AND MDMA, I am still in a strange state of mind and I have a bad case of diarrhoea.
I seem to go in spurts of activity to inactivity. I seem to exhaust all of my willpower in a month and I spend a month in recovery. If I had been the kind of health nut that slogs it every day for a year I'd be in the best shape of my life by now... but that's not me and even the approach I take today is too much.
The biggest problem is how I use the Internet. Without fail, every time I decided to trawl the Q&A section here I lose track of all responsibilities and goals. It's as if I don't want to be conscious, it's like I'm sick of living like everybody else.