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Backsliding For The Nth Time

It's past Christmas and the new year is about to begin. I suppose it was Christmas time so I thought I could cut back a little and hang out on the Q&A section. Prior to this time I had been working but even so, my tendency to surf the net in my spare time is always strong and as such, when I was fired it was all I could do. It's all I seem to want to do. My willpower to do anything else has faded.

I have been sick for the last couple of days in the stomach. The excess drinking must have done a number on it, not to mention the LSD AND MDMA, I am still in a strange state of mind and I have a bad case of diarrhoea.

I seem to go in spurts of activity to inactivity. I seem to exhaust all of my willpower in a month and I spend a month in recovery. If I had been the kind of health nut that slogs it every day for a year I'd be in the best shape of my life by now... but that's not me and even the approach I take today is too much.

The biggest problem is how I use the Internet. Without fail, every time I decided to trawl the Q&A section here I lose track of all responsibilities and goals. It's as if I don't want to be conscious, it's like I'm sick of living like everybody else.
deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 30, 2012

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