I Am

first hard drug i tried was coke and it was pretty good, although i couldn't understand why someone would spend so much money on it . i guess thats why they call it the rich mans drug.
it later led to me trying ecstacy and before i took it i was scared and at the same time very excited. when it hit me it was like being in the ocean and a wave hit me but it hit me sweetly and it was euphoric. every fiber of my being, every cell in my body felt amazing. and i loved it.
i did it every weekend and i progressed to taking 4 pills in a night, sometimes even snorting a little.
i eventually lost that euphoric feeling and just felt ****** up. my body was so tense that i couldn't even pee and i would want to cry. i did this for about a year.
then i moved onto perscription drugs. pain killers. mix them with alchol and i was on a good one. very dangerous.
it was okay at first but after a while the day after i did them i was crazy. the littlest thing would make me angry and violent.
while i was on them i would go home and cry because i didn't know who i was anymore. i literally felt like i was changing to much and it was at such a rapid pase that it was not normal. and it was not change for the better it was destructive to my very being my soul.
life. its crazy.
i stopped and it messed me up. for the most part i'm myself. but sometimes i get so down i am drowning in a vast pool of nothingness.

shootingstarfire shootingstarfire
18-21
Jul 27, 2010