And No One Could Call That a Good Thing
I used to be a person with some measure of hope, no matter how bad things got; i used to be a person with some dignity and self respect, some sense of pride. Not anymore; the world has beaten it of of me. I used to be a person who knew what the world was about at least in terms of myself, what i wanted to accomplish the standards by which i wanted to live my life.
I used to be
I used to be a person who could muster some semblance of happy, who could manage to fake a smile to humorer someone, or a half smile for a good heart trying to cheer me up. Now it's all i can do to keep the tears out of my eyes, to keep from screaming at everyone within 10 blocks, to try to stem the flood of sh-t i level on my friends.
So much for used to be
I used to be a person who would look the world in the eye; now i can barely hold my head up. i used to be a person who could envision the good things i would find once i got my life going; now i can see nothing, only manage to juggle the next disaster. I still have a passion but its clouded in disillusion; there really is only so much disappointment and despair one person can endure. i used to map out the little things in life, now i pray for death more than ever before, knowing it is a long time coming knowing there's no peace in sight, no relief.
I used to know who i was
it is the death of used to be