As A Kid I Was The Most Energetic Child...

... in the family. i was lively, out going and hardly ever cried. when i cried, you would know that something is really hurting me and i wasnt honestly well. i learnt to talk at a very early age and amazed everyone with the words that i could say at such an early age. i pretty much kept my family on their toes whenever visitors came over because no one could predict what i was coming up with next. i was warm, loved people and was fearless but as i grew older i just suddenly retreated into a shell. it started with me not talking and socializing as much i used to be. slowly it beame my new identity. my aunt asked me what happened to me (jokingly of course) and i could not say. over a decade later and ive worsened. im scared, paranoid, judgmental, easily jump to conclusions, "anti social", have identity problems and i have to literally use energy to smile, something that came naturally as a kid. i look a lot older than iam and have been told on a number of occasions that i look depressed and sad. how i wish i could go back to the days when i loved life and i didnt have to say it. it was written all over my face but now i say it but i doubt i even know what it means to "love life".
suddenstorm suddenstorm
18-21, M
Dec 9, 2012