5th and 6th grade was the best . I am now grown and have changed into a young boy who loves catching frogs to a 19 year old dude who has huge pupils from being stressed everyday. After my mom had an affair on my step dad I was heart broken. My family crumbled. Before that while talking to my oldest sister I discovered she had been sexually abused by my biological father . Who I was seeing and staying over at his house every other weekend without evening knowing. It took me a long time to truly see my real father is a monster and wanted me to follow in his foot steps. I never will . At the same time I have daily struggles sometimes three times a day with the thought of being the seed of his evil. I do not have the confidence I used to have and after a bad acid trip last year I have not been the same.
Harrisshap Harrisshap
22-25, M
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

You aren't your parents and you aren't alone in feeling burdened by their actions or the subconscious pull to somehow repeat them.

It's not at all unusual to try and use drugs to escape feelings or to feel when you are numb or disconnected from yourself. If you notice a trend of this kind of non-recreational use of drugs to avoid emotional situations you should consider the fact that this is often a pathway to addiction. If you think you may be struggling with this, you should seek help via counseling and possibly a meeting group. Do not use opiates like painkillers or heroin!

The world is tough on a young male from 15 to 25-27 years old. Find something to do that brings you as much satisfaction as you can get and do that as much as you can for free or better yet for money!

Counseling is something that I have found extremely helpful dealing with my own issues from time to time. There is no shame in this.

Thank you . I am not struggling with any addictions . I used to smoke weed all of the time I am now on 10 milligrams of lexapro that I sometimes take. I will take your advice about finding things that give me satisfaction. Thank you again