I Want to Be the Person I Used to Be

I used to be this unbelievably creative, appreciative child. If I wanted to do something nobody else was doing, I did it. My worries didn't bother me the way they do today.

I understand that we all change with time, especially when we go from childhood to adolescence. However, I feel like if the child version of me met me now, she would hate what I've become. I barely dream anymore, I worry about everything and everyone and I second guess every decision I make.

Since I've been thinking about this I've been trying to become what the child version of me should have become though.

prettypaperlanterns prettypaperlanterns
18-21, F
5 Responses Sep 5, 2007

Oh, my gosh! You have no idea how grateful I am to hear that somebody gets what I am thinking! I used to have the greatest imaginaton out of everyone I knew, I had absolutely no fear of anything and I was always so energetic when I was a kid. I let it all slip through my fingers. Now I am paranoid and not creative at all. People think I am crazy when I tell them I'd rather go back to kindergarten than on to college! I loved being a kid and still wish I never grew up. I'm sorry for this long rant... Just a bit of venting, I guess...

Yeah I get it. I feel the same. I wish I could see the world as I did as a kid, with a sense of naivety. It was a strange, exciting, colourful, wonderful place full of discovery and opportunity. I didn't worry about falling off things and getting hurt. But as an adult, I have become hard nosed, negative, bitter, resentful and hopeless. I hate so many things and love so few. I wish I could see the world again through a child's eyes.

I checked the date you posted this and was hoping for advice from you knowing that you posted this two years ago. I am trying to do the same. It's hard but I am working on it. I hope to become the person I used to be. Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it.

I wrote this almost two years ago, and I can tell you, that once I realized what I was becoming and how much I didn't like it, I began to change it. <br />
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I'm much happier now that I've embraced the side of myself that I tried to stamp down to be like everyone else.

I feel exactly the same as you do...