Being The Oldest Child Sucks

     As you know living in a big family is a hard gig, especially when your the oldest. Me as the oldest has to, clean, cook, babysit, and be the "role model" or "example". I really hate being the oldest. To my mom, everything I do is wrong. Only because it "effects" my brothers and sisters. So my mom gets mad over the simplest things. I tell my brother to stop bugging me, and my mom freaks out and yells at me saying that he is younger then me, and that I should know better. I also hate when the little ones get into something, and its always my fault to my mother. For example, they get into the fridge all the time. As the food is all gone out of the fridge all over the dinning room, and the kids playing in the puddle of milk, while in the living room my mom is yelling at me saying how its all my fault and how I let it happen. Everything just happens to be my fault! I didn't do anything! Its as if my mom doesn't love, or care for me at all; and blames me for there faults so she doesn't have to hurt there feelings or something.
     And having a little brother is the worst position you can have. All that he seems to enjoy is to bug the heck out of me; I never liked how my brother can bug me all he wants, and I cant do anything to him. Just think of it. People thinks its cute that he bugs me, then I do it to him, people would think of me as a jerk. My mom has no idea how it is to have a family that puts stress on your shoulders. They just don't get how hard there being on me. My mom acts different with every child. As for me of course, is the worst. I feel as though no one cares about me anymore. I feel so alone now that my sister has grown apart from me. It happens to me at school too. I have no friends to talk with, i sit alone at lunch thinking how I wish life could end soon, and how it would be nice to have someone there. I know people everyone has much of a worse condition then mine. But I'm still a human being. I have feelings, and it seems that my mom and my family forget that.
quigl190 quigl190
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 31, 2011

By this time in your life you know how those younger siblings were made. Take your stand and tell your mother that if she was going to f around and have more children that she should have made appropriate arrangemants for their child care before they were born. She is legally obligated to provide for your well being until you are 18. She does not have the right to place the responsibilities of her kids on you. Good chances are that if you wanted children right now you could go out and make some yourself. <br />
As far as being friendless, I am so there with you. I was forced to watch my younger siblings and the condition you are suffering from is called parentification. It is when the oldest child who is forced to watch younger siblings has to act and functon like an adult. Well all of this adult functioning puts a gap between you and your peers. It renders you incapable of bonding with them on a normal kid to kid level. It doesn't get any better with age. The amount of stress that you feel right now will stay with you forever, it is almost like post traumatic stress disorder.<br />
I am 44 now and should have had children of my own but I didn't. I had none, and I have never really been able to function in a relationship because I am totally emotionally inaccessible to any one I have ever dated. I never wanted a baby or kids because I knew how much work they were, what your mother doesn't realize is that you don't derive any joy from caring for them. You only know the stress part and the times where you could be out making friends and bonding, but instead you are worried about what's up with the kids.<br />
If I had it to do over again I would have stood up to my parents and went out to play with the other kids. Even if it meant leaving the younger siblings unsupervised and having CPS come in.