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X-treme Dysfunction!

 

My parents have nothing to do with me. Long story really but suffice it to say that when I stopped forcing myself on them with visits and phone calls, there was NO contact at all between us. It showed me that they really didn't care at all. They have never held their granddaughter and she's almost 2 now. I failed to agree that they were right about something and now I'm out of the picture. They always had to be right...and someone always had to be blamed for everything...and we always had several people we were supposed to hate...and god forbid if you didn't take part in that. Therapy has helped me deal very well, but one must still admit that at times it's confusing and hurtful (although better for my wife and daughter and myself in the long run)

MattyAnomaly MattyAnomaly 46-50, M 4 Responses Jul 5, 2008

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Thanks for the comments. It was a long time ago I wrote this...glad it still helps others. My daughter is going on 6 now...and nothing has changed really. Still hard at times...but I still realize that I don't want her to be part of such toxicity.

I can completely relate to your story and I feel for you. I have learned to let it go, but yes very often it is confusing and hurtful still. My kids are way better off and I always was to without them just never realized it. Thanks for sharing it shows me I am not alone out here and some people do understand me.

If they cut you off and feel the need to punish you because you did not agree that they were right about something, then they are not only extremely dysfunctional, they are also scapegoaters and you are the chosen scapegoat. Stick with your wife and child. Choose love over dysfunction.



We cannot choose the family we are born into, but we can choose the family we want to keep.

I feel the same way. My parents do not contact me now that i am on my own. I stopped contacting them a long time ago, my father sooner than my mother, and have not heard a thing from them. I disagreed with the way I was raised as a child and that was all it took to make them hate me. But like you said, in the long run it is better for everyone in my family, husband, and kids, that it turned out this way. Keep smiling:)