Definitely the Black Sheep

i can relate, if that helps. I finally moved to another country before i felt far enough away. most of my relatives are Mormons, and i definitely don't fit in. truth is, though, i'm really glad i don't. independence and self-esteem are payoffs, i guess. i don't have enough of either, but i'm working on that. anyway, thanks for your story...

I'm still working on independence and self-esteem as well, it's a constant project, it seems. Keep it up though, hopefully in the end of it all, we'll thank ourselves.

Funny thing happens when you have moved away. I moved 2,000 miles away. Only talk to a few ...father... step brother and step sister once in a while. a niece.. and that covers it! giggles Stories still fly about what I am doing. cuz no one knows. I never tell it all. it's much more fun to let them come up with stuff all their own. Makes me look like I have far more fun than I really have!! giggles Move away... and enjoy life!!

I have moved away. They live a thousand miles from me now. And I have moved away from them a few other times as well. It's a double-edged sword. Love being away, but hate missing my mom and dad.

Terrible that we have to move away, to be able to live a life without constant judgments and criticisms, but so freeing once the move is made.

One gets a chance to take a breath!

i moved away, as i mentioned....far away. i found that the judgment and criticism followed me, though....only here, i did it to myself, with patterns of behavior that brought on the same thing as before. had to fight that. am still fighting.
coming home is fun now, though. it's fun to get perspective and then go back for a bit. nothing has changed, of course. unless i agree completely with what everyone says (pretending, of course), i get judged. so sometimes i just sit back and watch it all happen like it's a bad movie. oughta buy popcorn for those occasions...

I'm in the process of dealing with the same thing... your voice just takes over where theirs' left off!



I'm glad for you that you've left so much of it behind, to the point where you can almost disconnect, when faced with them. It goves me hope for myself.



Thanks, errantmisfit. :)

you are welcome!

i think it's great that we both recognize how our voices pick up where theirs left off. that is the first step to changing the reaction patterns, don't you think? i'm still working on that.

btw i cannot always watch it like a movie, or disconnect to that extent. what i can do, though, is go there, see the show, then dash off somewhere to a planned refuge and come back when i have gathered energy to continue....

I'm very much like you. I think I realized it very early on in life, and embraced and nurtured my uniqueness. For one thing, I never *wanted* to have kids - knew from the time I was two, and never liked dolls. For years I had to endure people, especially older women saying "you'll see, when you meet the right guy." And I always thought, no, YOU'LL see. But it irritated me that people said things like that. What business was it of theirs, and WHY should they care?
I sometimes got grief from my family but I learned to throw it back in their faces. I have always been proud of myself - that I stuck to my guns and "did it MY way" as Sinatra said. There's nothing wrong with being a non-conformist - "sheeple" rarely make a mark in the world. No one knows better than YOU what will make you happy. Like you, I knew that a traditional family would never make me happy and would keep me from being who I was. Yes, we are different, but so was Einstein. So was DaVinci. So was Mozart. Embrace your differentness, be proud you stood up to your family and society and proclaimed "This is ME!", and have a good laugh at all the people who blindly fell into lock-step with what society expects and are in miserable marriages or careers.
You are not a 'black sheep', because a sheep is still a sheep. I tend to think of myself more as a wild animal who has never been domesticated, and never will be. Bravo for you!!!

HI,
I read your story.
All I can say is that you should never let anyone else define who you are. You are alive, you have a job and you have a life.
There are people in this world that love you very much. Just because your life doesn't fit someone elses expectations, that does not define who you are. Continue to seek fulfillment in the things that truly make you happy. Find your passions in life and move forward.
Get up and go.