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In My Face

Imma start out by saying my family is ****** up but to everyone else we look like successful loving people. HAHA what a freaking joke. Let me give you some examples. My dad use to get really ****** up and insult my stepmom and her family. Hell he even kicked me in the mouth when I was 13. My lip was swollen for three days. I couldn;t leave the house. I was made to feel like it was my fault. My stepmom who was suppose to be raising me and protecting me could be an *******. She use to call me fat and criticized everything I ate. It made me eventually turn to bulimia. Then when she found out she belittled me even more so. But I didnt care cause I finally had control over something. Then when I finally left home and went to college it just got worse. Insults hurdled over the phone and when I came home we might go two days without arguing then it was like boom! and we were back at the dysfuction eventually me and my brother (actually step bro) stop talking cause e was being an ******* and taking a path in life I just couldnt roll with. And I was never close to my 2 sisters. I dk if it had to do with the fact i was the cause of their parents marriage ending since i was a result of an affair my dad had on his first wife (Before my stepmom) or the fact that they were older. Any who long story short currently me and my stepmom are not talking going on 3 weeks partly cause she hung up in my face when I threatened suicide not once but 5 times in a night. I just needed her comfort one damn time in my life and she couldnt give me that. My dad and me converse but i have to limit it cause he can turn at the drop of a hat. Me and my siblings are pretending we dont exist and we dont call unless we have to. And all this almost ruined a relationship I truly cared about all because i couldn't separate the hurt and guilt from letting us just be together. I am a stronger person and I have formed better bonds with better people thur all this. I have a loving boyfriend who have been there through the ups and downs and our relationship has really progressed since I cut of most of my interaction with my family. He knows everything and accepts me thur it all. I love him truly and he truly loves me back. I am living proof that there is hope and peace and just because your family might not love or treat you the way you deserve doesnt mean someone else wont. You just have to let them. The only thing I worry about are my nieces and nephews not knowing how much I love them cause they dont understand what the family is going thur. Well guess all I can do is pray and maybe explain when they are old enough to really understand. But until then here's to all the people out there whose lives maybe touched. If my story can help one person then my purpose to help others is fufilled
Peach2010 Peach2010 18-21, F Jan 23, 2013

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