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Depressed Person

I'm an lonely person.i go to the doctors for pain and they say it is due to my depression and that i need to get it in control before they treat my pain. i raised 5 kids while my husband drove across country for the last 25 years i stay alone my kids r grown and have their own lives that don't include me only when they want money.now i am unemployed as is my husband for the last 3 months things r really hard, i guess I'm feeling sorry for myself. i have had plan to take my life if things don't get better. I've done it before about 15 times in the last 35 years but not successful. i can't control how i feel, i get on antidepressants but i never have the money to get them refilled. still can't i feel as useless as an old worn out shoe. I'm so lone all i want to do is cry i can't even think straight. one morning soon I'm going to take a drive but won't be back. have nothing to look forward to in my days at all. i pray to god really but is there really a god. I use to have a rewarding job, I worked in an assisted living faculity as a cook but I was having bad trouble with my depression so they let me go now i feel i have no future in site and that no one is hiring or will not hire because of what my past employer said to them. so here i am a big nothing. don't feel no love or happiness.so i could write more but i don't think i'm writing what is suppose to write

momforthefirsttime momforthefirsttime 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2009

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Hey "momforthefirstime" your storie is very sad. I hope by the time im writing you feel better.<br />
Start by dreaming...how would be your perfect life,yes ,no matter what happened in your life that put you down,you still got your mind to visualize and thats the best gift you could have. So,please, use it...<br />
You see, life is beautiful,so many beautiful things to learn,so many beautiful things to see, so many beautiful people to know, you can, if YOU really want it, see all of that...you can be fit and healthy, happy,give and receive love from every member of your family,wealthy, and believe me, if i hadnt be in a sad situation as well in the past, a friend who loves me wouldnt have never talked to me about that book called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, and i think you deserve to know, cause you deserve to be happy.And to answer your question,Yes,God DOES exists.<br />
Please every morning you open your eyes say "thank you" for all the little things you have.And Believe.<br />
<br />
With LOVE,<br />
A.N<br />
<br />
Ps:Make sure you get that book...

Hey "momforthefirstime" your storie is very sad. I hope by the time im writing you feel better.<br />
Start by dreaming...how would be your perfect life,yes ,no matter what happened in your life that put you down,you still got your mind to visualize and thats the best gift you could have. So,please, use it...<br />
You see, life is beautiful,so many beautiful things to learn,so many beautiful things to see, so many beautiful people to know, you can, if YOU really want it, see all of that...you can be fit and healthy, happy,give and receive love from every member of your family,wealthy, and believe me, if i hadnt be in a sad situation as well in the past, a friend who loves me wouldnt have never talked to me about that book called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, and i think you deserve to know, cause you deserve to be happy.And to answer your question,Yes,God DOES exists.<br />
Please every morning you open your eyes say "thank you" for all the little things you have.And Believe.<br />
<br />
With LOVE,<br />
A.N<br />
<br />
Ps:Make sure you get that book...