Please Let It Stop..

I am not good at talking.... but i will get straight to the point, I HATE MY LIFE.... and I just want it to end. I am sick of being a nice person, doing everything for everyone, and in return, they show nothing. No appreciation, no Thank you, nothing.

Being kind gets you nowhere in life... I used to hold in everything, until i moved away. I started living with people who treated me like a slave, forced to do all the cleaning and still continue paying the bills. These were not even my parents. I ended up packing up and moving all in the same day.. Not a word to anyone.. IT was either that, or i punch holes in walls, and into a certain persons face..

After that day, i have changed. I can't help but to get mad at everyone, to feel the need to punch people, hurt people... My brain tells me one things but it dont matter. It does the opposite...

Even though i try my hardest, and i stay kind to everyone no matter.... It turns to me being the bad person and im sick of it, i cant stand these people anymore.. ITs family and friends who push me to my limits, even strangers. I cut myself today, and lastnight... and 2 weeks ago.. I did 37 cuts one night, 34 the next, and then 10 the next. And soon it will be further.. As people consider me, I am a homewrecker for giving this wonderful girl a better life.. I am inconsiderate, I am disrespectful, I am a theif, deceiving.. People even interfere with my relationships (my own family) telling them They deserve better. No one I talk to understands, its man up be a man, if you were a real man this that.... IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A MAN. There is no one thing that makes a man. oh, i forgot, i get bullied by my entire family cause i dont bring home women, they all consider me gay. Highschool, elementary all the kids made fun of me... You have a lisp, you are fat, ugly you can date the ugliest girl , get a life, a loser, immature, selfish... Just everything...

I dont have a relationship with my youngest sister, nor do i have one with my older sister or brother in law. I am left alone out here, people just push and push and dont understand a single thing, and they just add onto it aswell.

I run from everything. ive slid knives across my throat cutting, but not deep enough. More and more everyday im wanting to.. soon the day will come..

I don't know what help to get but who knows.

You know, I came on here hoping people would have something to say, to help get me out of this rutt, to understand. I come on everyday to see 22 views. No comments, and people, who simply don't care. THis site is not what it is made out to be. Please excuse me while i run and cut. THanks

150 cuts have been doing me nicely, I had multiple people say more **** about me, and ive given up. I will see you in heaven dad. SOrry no i won't . hell.
Brandobowss Brandobowss
18-21, M
Dec 4, 2012