I Hide My Feelings!!!

well if you see me i have a very nice personality,always smiling,talkative and very outgoing but i am very depressed,i have had so much crap happened to me in the past two years it has made me mad,and i cry a lot and cant help be upset all the time but i dont show it to others in school or to my mates,and i dont know what they think about what is going on with me.I have very low self esteem,i find it hard to take compliments,and due to this,they are many guys who like me and i take it very hard,as i think bad of myself and stay distant from them and so they think that i think too much of myself,but really i hate myself and i actually just want to die!! and recently i was very ill and in hospital and away from school so much,and never told anyone and everyone just thought i was too lazy to come to school,i dont like talking about my personal issues and find it hard to trust people and let people in my life!!!and beside that im the type of person who wants to comit suicide and then kill evryone ese around me,im turning into a psycopath,i want to get a knife and slit the throat of next person who ****** me off!!!arrgh,i hate my life,school.myself,family,everything and in everyone elses eyes im a person who loves everything

nafiisa nafiisa
18-21, F
Mar 13, 2010