Almost 40 And Still Stuck.

Hello All,

I'm almost 37 years old, never married, no kids, no steady job, and I still live with my parents. I've tried many times in the past to find a meaningful career that will help me get out of this rut. But because I am an emotional spender, I am stuck.

And I should mention that  I am doing it again. I am going back to school again and hoping that things will change, but my parents doubt it.

What do I do now?

Midnight Starr
midnightstarr midnightstarr
41-45, F
6 Responses Jul 7, 2010

Dear 40 and stuck,

I have a strong appreciation that you are still strong about who you know you are and a great respect that you've been given parents who've allowed you so many years to discover yourself. Dig deep and walk that road you know is awaiting you!!! YOU will not fail and complete peace and happiness will be found and all that have supported you along the way as well as you will find bliss. You already have the answer!!! Love and hugs mom07

I say just believe in yourself. If you don't like your life then you are the only force that can change it. I don't remember who said that. It's never too late unless you let it be. Good Luck!

Marriage isn't for everyone. But if that's what you want, why not place a personals ad, laying out everything about yourself? There's a man for every woman, as well as a woman for every man. Just be sure you don't marry a jerk. (Photos are essential if you do this.)

For some,even a flock of mens arent enough ,-),but try it anyway..whatever helps,just be carefull,and dont surrender to apathy or boredom.By Myrphy's law"Negative ecspectations give negative results.Positive expectations give negative results",altough,i'm not so sure about the last part of that...anyway enjoy...

The problem with being self sufficient is that I spend the money. And I also need to find a job that pays more than $20 an hour. The most that I can get right now is $15 which still isn't enough for me to move out.<br />
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And I am not relying on help with family that much. You just reminded me that I will have to pay my share of the electricity bill. I do have my own bills like Internet, Cell Phone, and Credit Card.<br />
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Besides, I do have to look for a job because job means that I get paid, and when I get paid, that means some more security. But it's my emotions that is the problem. I spend money because I am either bored or lonely. Usually bored, but I remember when I first moved out for two years (Going to school) that I spent all the Student Loan money due to loneliness. And joining clubs also means spending money too.<br />
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Volunteering, I just did that yesterday.<br />
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So in order for me to be secure means that I have to figure out how to control myself mentally.

You can do it! Just believe in yourself :)

At 37 years age, you are now waiting to be served. Trying to find a meaningful career is not the answer any more. What is important is being self sufficient, rather than relying on help from family.<br />
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Secure your present living situation first, than work for your life, including going to school.

While I cannot tell you what to do, I could suggest what to do:<br />
Think positive of yourself. Think "When I succeed" instead of "If I succeed". As a general rule, positivity helps you perform better than uncertainty and doubt. If you think positive you almost always will come out on top.<br />
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I'm sorry I cannot be of much more assistance, but I hope my suggestion can help you out =)

I wrote this a while ago, and I am trying to be positive even though I now know that my problem is both ADHD and Anxiety related.

Hugs to you. You are not alone.