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23 With No Future

When I was in high school, people asked me what I was going to do with my life. I said I wanted to teach. I wanted to help give children the enrichment they deserved and couldn't always get at home. I was accepted at Montana State University, and was looking forward to it. The night of my high school graduation something happened to me and I couldn't live under my mother's roof anymore. I took a Greyhound bus out of Montana that night and moved to Seattle with $31 and some clothes.

My high school didn't hand out our diplomas during the graduation ceremony, and shipped them to us a week later. So sadly I was unable to take my high school diploma with me. Because of this, I haven't been able to go to college. I worked at a video store and couldn't even pay for community college classes. I've lived well enough, but I know that there's a big hole inside of me. I didn't have any family, I can't have a healthy relationship, I have no education, and no sign of getting any of this.

I moved back to Montana after 5 years to take care of my mother. She has coronary artery disease, and is no longer well enough to care for herself. Soon I'm not going to have a mother anymore, though I don't know how much of a mother I had before. She's leaving behind nothing; she rents her house and she doesn't have any money after all the medical bills and debt. I'm just going to go back to Seattle with the exact amount of nothing I had before.
cosmicspeck cosmicspeck 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 22, 2011

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I was a little confused until I read one of your other stories. You obviously had a traumatic event throw your life off kilter. If you still want to be a teacher I hope you are able to get back on track to taking steps toward your goal. It's wonderful that you are taking care of your mother. I had a difficult time in my early twenties and was tormented by family problems. I dropped out of school a few times, but made my way back, eventually earning a Masters in special education. I found my niche of working one on one as an educational therapist with students with learning problems. I'm telling you this because I believe that if you still have that dream you can achieve it one way or another. Maybe you can find a job as a teacher's aide and enter a college program toward a teaching degree. I would talk to teachers in your community about what their jobs are like and what they recommend you do to get started. You are young and you can still get back on track to achieving the life you want. Don't give up!