Life Is A Rollercoaster.I am reading the stories on here about not being where you want to be because that is how I feel. Most of you are so young though and I want to tell you that getting there is an uphill climb. I am 43 and I am not where I thought I would be - A college grad with a career,a family, a nice home,cars,retirement you know the works.
I wanted it so bad. I graduated early from high school and started college my senior year. I had to pay for college myself so of course I was working also. I took a certificate course so I could get a higher paying job for college. Then went back to college while working a full-time job and a part-time job. Things were going crazy with my health but I had my goals. One day I was having severe headaches and my boss sent me to an eye doctor. He told me I had MS and that he was surprised I was walking with everything on my schedule. He said I needed an emergency admittance to the hospital. I was only 22 and it was 1990. After a month in the hospital and being pumped full of steroids and other drugs lets just say I had to withdraw from college quit the part time job and cut back hours on the full time job. My boyfriend at the time I told him he was free o go because we did't plan on this. But guess what we got married a year later an have been married for 20 years and we have two kids.
Now I can't work anymore because I have lost my short term memory and some cognitive function. I love learning but because of the cognition and memory problems I can't go back to school. I have tried three times in the past and have always had to take a medical withdraw. I have had some great jobs over the years but nothing compared to what I wanted. Plus now that I can't work our income has dropped drastically. So the nice cars are gone,we are about to lose our home,our retirement is gone, life insurance is gone,savings is gone.
What I do have is my Husband, my son and my daughter and for today that is enough.My
But that doesn't stop the feeling that I am now useless because I can't contrbute to anything.
blackcloud1313 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 Nov 11, 2011