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I Am Not Where I Wanted to Be At This Age

33, Unemployed, Single Mum Living In A Foreign Land

By: Gracie2012
Written on July 26th, 2012
Ha ha, yes totally did not expect all the above, but you know I would not change so much after all.

I am independent. I have a beautiful daughter and I feel I am on my way to understanding myself. I put myself through university and I had a reasonable career until 3 years ago. I worked in sales and marketing, and travelled the world, but when sales decreased, I was made redundant.

However, I realize I did this job because I thought it was what I wanted, and what others expected. Now I realize to be a business woman is not what my heart desires. I felt I was a fake and just holding on to the job, but in fact i know I was very good at it.

I have never had any support from my parents, just lots of emotional drama. They never encouraged me, and even forgot to turn up on my graduation. I never call me, and very rarely send birthday cards etc. It was only this year I realized I no longer need them, I just get hurt by them anyway.

At one point I was with a successful man, and money was no object, but I was very unfulfilled and realized eventually I could not love him. I was living a lie. 

Where I am at now, is not the best place, but I feel I am being so true to myself and realizing there is still time to get the life I want. At the moment, I am in the wrong place to seek love, but one day I feel the puzzle may fit together in all the different areas of my life :-)
By: Gracie2012
Age: 31-35 , Female
104 people have read this story

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  • dramanon
    dramanon

    We are living in a time of real change and flux. It is very easy for the individual person to judge themselves for problems that might also be systemic, ie, we are coming out of the worst recession the world has ever known, and unemployment is high.



    There are limited opportunities for people at the moment, and it isn't their fault. You are probably a very capable and skilled worker. However, with the state of the global economy, there are a lot of people in your position.



    Don't get down about it, or judge yourself. I have lived through recessions before, and they do eventually come to an end. You will eventually find a job, just try and make it one that you find fulfilling.



    As for relationships, they come when they come: not being in a relationship doesn't make you any less of a person, and it's a lot better than being in an unhappy or even abusive relationship.

    Aug 5, 2012
    1 like