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But Am Getting There,

I am not where I wanted to be at this age but am getting there. Being raised by a single mother after losing everything after my father died, i assumed God would cut me some slack and let me have a better life after university which I fought so much to finish. This isn't so, i ended up in a lousy job and I cant help my mother as I always thought, and I am not living the life i dreamed of.

I went through a horrible break up and it never helped that I had a hot rebound who did anything but serve his purpose, he only added salt to injury by sleeping with two of my friends and hitting on a couple others. He just broke a broken heart if that's even possible. I was so depressed I had no confidence no self esteem i forgot what it was like to be happy. I was too afraid to dream. And every time I met someone I was already preparing for the time when they would leave me just so it couldn't hurt as much.

I wanted on love for years. I was even celibate for 1year and 7months. With this lousy job I lost my personality. It was like being destined for a crash on a lonely dark train and not doing anything to get off because you are too scared to try and then failing. I am a girlie girl, i would rather splurge on shoes than buy food type of girl but this job made me boring, i never wanted to try to relax a little. I was always worried about money.

I met him on a blind date. But we were at high school together although he was my senior and like an impossible dream. I remember he was really tall with timberland boots. Even before we met in person he was texting me and calling and we hit it off and i have finally found him my missing puzzle piece. He brings out the best in me, I feel beautiful again and I feel worthy and like i deserve more from life. its like if he could like me this much i deserve more. here is a guy who opens car doors for me never lies and calls to say good nite twice within minutes because he misses me. he introduces me to his friends and family. if I could have that i could have anything, he inspires me to do more.

i decided that although am not where i hoped i would be at this age I could still get to the point where i want to be. Yes my job is lousy and i didn't work so hard at University to get this crap but I saved a little money to start my own thing, something to put my self through law school and i have the passion and drive to get my self through this.
smileyfaces84 smileyfaces84 26-30, F Sep 14, 2012

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