Traveling a lot I settled quickly after being with my fiancé for. 3 years, I had a baby.. Soon after she was born I find out that he had cheated on me, I move to the uk for help and support. My fiancé wants us back and begs for forgiveness, though I have been seeing an old flame for the past month and actually have ended up falling for him. I'm set to move again soon to be with my fiancé for the sake of the child and I'm worried I will never be happy again without the other guy. Is this best for my child? Or should I be selfish and go with my gut. I kissed him the other night and I've never felt those feelings before. It's an awful situation if anyone can relate I would love some advice.
Bohoho Bohoho
22-25, F
7 Responses Aug 21, 2014

Hey

My mom stayed with my dad for 12 long year he cheated. But he always came back begging for his family back. I was young and didn't understand and I always begged my mom to get back with my dad. He never changed. My mom was unhappy and miserable for 12 years. Just so I could grow up with my parents together. Till she ran into her childhood crush. My mom was finally happy. And she had the courage to leave my cheating father. Don't stay unhappy in a cheating relationship. I'm 18 years old and I love to see my mom happy. And my dad too. He himself want happy in his relationship with my mother that's why he cheated. My parents not being together was the best thing that could happen to us. At first it was hard. But my moms courage to do something for herself was great. I hope this helps you.

If he cheated once he might do it again. And again!
If you move back with him. Suppose you fall pregnant with babe #2!
Two small children with a guy who cheats!!
Not that guy #2 is guaranteed to be any better!
And he would need to be something special to raise a child not his own.

Sorry to hear about your experience but always remember, sometimes what seems to be the worst thing turns out to be the best and vice-verse! You have your daughter and she will add to your life and complete you in ways you couldn't imagine.

never go back, never return... doing something "for sake of baby/child" is the biggest mistake of everyone... how could it be for sake of it, if you, its mother, are unhappy about it and will never feel good there? children, even babies feel these things and that is really not for its sake... my opinion, whatever you decide, good luck with that :)

I'm sorry at first to hear what you're going through. I think that although it is better for the child to be with his father, but for me, there are reasons why the nature let you to meet this new guy. Besides you won't fall for this guy if you still truly love your fiancee don't you? And it worth a try to have new good memories. Your fiancee cheated on you, you deserve more and you know it. Feel where your heart truly belongs to. Your child will understand whatever choices you made.

I feel guilty but I know I desearve better. But at the same time I don't want to make him feel like I'm dragging him down.. I love my child's father but there is something missing now. All I think about is 'OF' and how I need them in my life. This is so painful

thank you for your reply !!

I can't relate at all I'm afraid, but I say do what makes you happy. If that old flame is a willing father for your child, why would you give that up? My dad is not my biological father and he is an amazing man. Besides if your fiancee makes you unhappy, that could last the rest of your life and affect your child as well. Best of luck to you.

Thank you, I'm still thinking a lot of my decition. It's very painful and confusing !!