Where Am I

Always thought that at my age my marriage would be secure and my husband would be my best friend.  That we would have struggled, laughed, played and smiled over the years and ended up closer than ever and soul mates.  I imagined that we would be more settled and life would be more smoother than the rocky road that we travelled on with money problems, job loss, child rearing etc.  But I sure did not expect to be where I am today.

tatteredwings tatteredwings
4 Responses Apr 28, 2009

Me too. I asked for a divorce 8 months ago. Yesterday, he finally told his parents that we are splitting up. Gosh, that makes it so real. His parents were supportive, and didn't say any of the awful things either of us feared. Now I feel intensely bereft over the suddenly tangible loss of all of our hopes and dreams.

It might be easier if we didn't love each other. It might be easier if we were one of those couples from daytime television, always at each other's throats. It might be easier if I hadn't given up everything to be with him. It's been months since anyone has hugged me. A hug might make it easier too.

I just feel like I have put my entire life, and everything I wanted from it in a shredder, and now I am scrambling to peice it back together.

I am just not where I wanted to be at this age.

If any of this resonates with you, feel free to drop me a line, any time.

Keeping an open mind is good, and Im learning that being alone and doing my own thing without a companion isnt half bad :)

I understnad what you are saying. When I got married I knew it was for a life time...it lasted 4 years and that was 35 yrs ago. I have never remarried. So somethings just are what they are. It is what is I guess. Sometimes I wonder will a I get a second chance at life....but would i do worse the next time...ugh. Guess I will settle for what I got and be happy that I do have something. Just keep an open mind.

Is life ever we expect? If it is your not living.