Stuck In A High Paying Job

 I am not where I wanted to be at this age.  I"m 49, divorced with 3 adult kids that live with me.  I have a great job and earn a great salary but I end up spending most of my income on my kids, my ex-wife, and the house.  At work, I am an "in charge" kind of guy but at home, I find it difficult to say no to all the freeloaders.  My ex is unemployed and in school.  The 3 kids that live with me have all been laid off from work and have no job in sight.  I wish I could just buy a camper and live in a cheap campground but how do you leave the people you love, even if they are a burden?  I sure never saw this coming years ago.  I've always worked, since I was 12.  I can't relate to my kids and ex who are lazy and prefer not to work and expect me to pay for everything.  I actually prefer being at work rather than being at home.   I'd like to make some new friends.  Any overweight middle aged people in Sacramento wanting to talk about their problems?   Ain't life funny?

preston95842 preston95842
46-50, M
11 Responses Dec 29, 2009

Stop giving the kids anymore than they need to live. You are lucky to have a good job. Take better care of yourself. Explain to your kids that they need to grow up and do things that make them proud of themselves. The world is a *****, it's time that they meet him/her. You sound like a nice guy. Just do what's right for your kids. Give them their independence. One sm. step for each in the right direction. Realistic achievable goals. Find out what they like to do and than help them find a job that enables those activities. Good luck my friend.

I hope things have changed for the better. :)

I'm 20 years old, and I moved out of my parents' house 8 months ago. Living on my own has made me realize how much I love my parents. The world is tough, man. I have to work every day, non-stop, trying to meet the deadlines my boss and professors place on me. I have zero free time, now. <br />
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Given this experience of mine, I think if you get tough and try to make your kids move out, they will end up like me, realizing your hard work.

It could be worse. The only thing you haven't yet mastered is saying no. You are enabling your kids and not teaching them about real life. You could be where you where you want to me. Life presents an opportunity with every passing day, it is like a wild untamed stallion. You just have to grab it by the mane, break it in and tame it. It will not just fall into place without you having to put in a lot of effort on a consistent basis.


Sorry, but you need to get tough. They all need jobs. Go to supermarkets, chain stores, Or something. This is ridiculous. I did it the last recession, had to take a job in a bookstore for 6.50 an hour. Each of them should at least be paying on utility bill, then youll see their attitudes change. Your not being mean or a bad mother, you need to get a backbone.

well i have to workedfrom the time i was 12. live no where near there but tought you do have a good sense of can be like that when they get older. i was a single parent so my daughter always wanted to work since 14 and saved her money, out looking has a part time job as waitress and a job as a free lance writer and out looking for a full time position. she want to have her own home and all.She seen me work 12 hour shifts and push myself to make her life as safe as i could. she has been looking for permant professional workand have been on several interviews. maybe and i know you might of told them that you like to get on with your of thoughts for you

Not only did I start working at a young age but I also gave a portion of my paycheck to my parents for room and board!!! <br />
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I think they went overboard but I did learn money management skills at a young age and it has served me well.<br />
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I really think you need to give your children some ultimatums.

I do not understand the not working, I started working at 15, well that is at a real job. Before that I babysat and walked dogs. My kids (who are really nieces and nephews but I have raised) will for for a few months and then stop, they come home and hang out. I finally put my foot down, if you do not go to work you will work at home, if that work is not completed by the time I get home, you're out. Sure enough I came home and things were not complete and I held the door open, said I love you, you are lazy, see you when you get a job. It is a difficult thing to do but I am doing them no favors by babying them. Y ou know what it is, when you are productive and tolerant you get abused.

You got that right. I read your story and I can relate. I might have written the same story a few years ago(for a while that same cat was my avatar on msn) I did end up in a camper while leaving my ex and the kids everything else. My ex got my pickup impounded and that was the last I ever saw of it . I was stranded in a campground with my camper for about 1 1/2 years. Eventually I had to junk it because it got crushed moving it with a hiab and flatbed. If your kids are old enough to work and everyone is just sucking dad's *** ,maybe you do need to take drastic action.It's not easy on the emotional level .But I've been told it gets better with time.( I'll believe it when I see it)...Good luck !

Sounds like they are Democrats.As long as they can get money from someone else why work.Some times you have to have hard love and cut the strings.