Mid Life Crisis ?

I'm not perfect - who is ? I cant figure out what I want or how I became the person I am right now. I am certainly not the same person I was even 5 years ago. A switch went off - a trigger so to speak and its catapulted from there. The switch was when I found emails, texts and various other questonable things on my husband. Granted this was a few years back .Well when I woke up and realized I was no longer living in a perfect married universe I put up a guard and the metamorphisis began . My eyes suddenly opened . Now a few years later , I am strong, confident and a little too independent for being married. I'm working on that as its proving to be problematic at home . I never did anything after I caught him . My indesrections happened on their own. There was no seeking revenge or searching for the next best thing. Things that came my way and I acted on. With this I discovered that I can be sexy, happy and have other friends outside the "circle" . What an amazing time ! I now carry a lot of secrets . With those secrets come tears, experiences, lust , love , discovery , guilt and happiness. Mid life crisis ? Maybe - but I at least know that I am not dead inside . I am filled with displaced passion. So at 19 years of marriage - I dont know whats coming in the future ...... and I want a lot more.
bbtwelve bbtwelve
46-50, F
3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

My wife died after 27 yrs of marrage i was lost in my early 50s i went searching trying new things with new people not sure what i was looking for some times happy some times sad longing to be held by a woman again

a beautiful metamorphosis!

I went through the same thing. Married 18 years to a man that is now openly gay. I divorced him 8 years ago.