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I'm Nice, I'm Polite, I Listen Well...

...but I also count the number of people I really trust on single digits.

It's not that I don't like people, I just like them in small doses.  I don't trust most people at all, though I've gotten quite good at concealing this fact from most everyone.

The first thing I ask myself whenever someone starts up a conversation is "What do they want from me?", the second is "How are they going to get it?"

Most of the time people just want to talk, a bit of discussion, a bit of discourse, perhaps an opinion or two.  So why is it that I get all the ones who want money or a warm body to make use of for a while?  It's happened too many times - too many friends who took me for money and work and made out like bandits in the end, too many people who wanted to add me to their collection of freaks they can say they know or names to drop to make themselves look more interesting.

I'm a lot of things - not all of them good, I hasten to add - but I don't operate that way.  I at least ask nicely and explain myself up front if I want something from someone.  When last I checked, that was considered good manners, even in the United States.
Timebender Timebender 31-35 79 Responses Jun 2, 2010

Your Response


Beware of drug addicts and alcoholics...the biggest users of ALL.

I am real and I care. Sorry for all the losers.

to i am not who they think i am"people take kindness for weakness"been there where you are,the trouble is you.the heart is a lonley hunter and you let your self get dumped on ,the are always watching for a soft too are looking for love in all the wrong places.get a pup and take walks,animal lovers will stop you and you will meet people with a common will even meet people in your hood!now toughen up ,it's tough out there and you don't owe your income nor body to nobody-god bless.

That's how I exactly feel and it kills me! Seriously.

Don't worry,this kind of people loose more than what they think have won ! Loosing a kind person is the worse we can expect ! money come and goes,but not people ! you may loose one person,but you'll find ten ! Be yourself ,no matter what they think !

Timebender,<br />
I admire what you have said here and give you credit for realizing it about yourself. Not everyone can understand that they don't trust someone for a reason. There seemingly is never a reason, when argued about. But not only did you give a reason, you gave an example and backed up your claim with concrete experiences. I see myself in this text and must say, Good For You! : )

Change your frequency change your life.

thank you its nice to know some one out there feels the same way

I know how you feel, friend. I'm the same way.

I have been in your situation... Advising is not going to help you actually... All you need for now is just one person to whom you can let your guard down.... Until then please don't get offended by how people treat you. This is a bad bad world and we have to be a little bad just to survive... Being nice is going to hurt us only.... <br />
Hope you feel better soon... :)

It's crazy I was just thinking to myself...why the way that I am...being that I am the exact desc<x>ription you wrote...It does not matter who it is, boyfriend, family, friends...I just can not be too close to be I feel like I am going to suffocate and so I keep my distance from everyone and well and of course I am single ...haven;t met someone who wanted to just be there but not always there....and friends uhh! the hardest one...I feel like I always meet the wrong ones who are just there to use me or 99% of the time....In no way do I relate to them and they are wasting my the way I see it; its a phase...I like to think so at least....and someday you will change provided your environment will change as well I think :/

you and me both honey ,,, though in my opinion if u wanna stay happy and not worry u have to tell urself thats the way it is in this world and choose just the few ,

Good for you!!! Stay cynical and stay safe. Theres nothing wrong with being aware and more so, self aware. Somtimes you'll have to be remorseless to operate this way, but you'll be happier in the long run, and your happiness should be your closet guarded asset. I would easily kill to protect mine. <br />
Annuit Coecptus e Novus Ordo Mundi. <br />
<br />


are you a famous person ? or look like you have money ? or maybe ur someone who look easy to take advantage of ?

I respect and sympathize. I used to be extremely trusting and open, but people took advantage of that. I ended up feeling embarrassed and angry, and from then on have dodged anything past shallow conversation. It's hard to trust people once you've been burned. So, I don't really blame you at all. If you're at peace with the way you are, then more power to you-- you're less likely to be getting hurt any time soon. If the situation does bother you, I hope you find your peace. Good luck, friend.

i feel the same way

TimeBandits arriving within the middle.of somewhere nowhere close to here, readying themselves to steal.the bounty of your booty or a kings ransom, all the same.. Welcome To ThebGame Show menyour and Inwillntell bout mine turn your head and cough they dare.. As I clasp my hands over my eyez wide shut only I I am peeking while theyre tweaking about and just lay my head back and laugh as paradise lost is once again found...Then I am glad to have the imnotsological visit as they bounty of my flesh is rushed while half my personals affect march iut the door I still adore the tweekaboo gameshow delights.. After all I finished!

hm...... I´am happy to hear that you stand out for yourself. But you need to gain for self control and stop being so paranoid! <br />
Not all people, wants to hurt and break your trust in half. <br />
For myself I can speak for! <br />
<br />
Just be critical and choose your friends, wisely and trust in your decision! <br />
Thank you for sharing the story. <br />
I can always relate to the story and everything, which was mentioned! <br />
<br />
Take care and have an amazing day! And have a wonderful New Years Eve. <br />
- Marin.

My friend I too share the same situation. I've learned to ask myself this question, "Do these acquaintances, friends, etc. benefit me at all?" It's true, you have the power to say "No" more often. Believe me, you will feel the weight lifted off your shoulder. You have to teach people how to treat you. Do it!

I can relate as well. Polite and respectable in society, not at all like I am when I get home and "relax"

Wow did i write this and get amnesia you sound just like me.<br />
And because we share the same lack of illusions that "you sound just like me" phrase will have put you on edge. <br />
<br />
But people always want something even those who give to charity normally want to feel better about themselves.<br />
nevertheless there is one time no-one wants anything from you and thats when they truly respect you those people if you can find them are the best friends/partners you could find.

I can totally relate, usually people don't stick around unless there is something in it for them.. sad but true. Its the world we live in now I guess. I am currently making some changes in my own life. Slowly but surely I'm only allowing good honest people into my life from now on, and that trust must be earned, I've been jaded too much in the past by people I honestly loved.

Reading your story was like reading a story written by me. You are obviously an introverted person like me. Apparentley 25% of humans are introverts so there is nothing wrong with us. I always thought I was just weird until about 8 yrs ago I learnt of the word introvert. Here is something interesting I read a while back, 'as far as the human population is concerned introverts are in the minority but as far as the talented population are concerned introverts are in the majority.' That gave me quite a smile.:-)

THIS IS ME. This is exactly what i have been trying to say. Thank you! I don't trust people because i was hurt before... Now, i can't seem to trust anyone but there are a few people I do trust. I try and let myself trust people, but it just doesn't work.

Makes me wonder about the friends I make now..ahh too insecure >.<

I agree with you. My initial reaction is that I don't like people. They are all gossipers at the very least. I can count those I trust on one hand. And that takes into account those I seldom trust. People love to gossip, speculate and are just generally down right petty. Now, there are exceptions obviously but I have not met many of them generally to feel good, they must bring you down.

Wow. Sounds kinda like me too. I get lonely being alone at home, like to go out and be around others, but my husband is my only remaining friend thanks to all the backstabbers I used to attract. Trust is earned, and if someone wants to be in my life, I find myself suspicious of them at first (yes, even with my husband). Like you said, too many people just want something besides your company, and I don't like to waste my time weeding through the bullshit to see someone's true intentions. Be up front or **** off.

I hate to admit it, but I know exactly where you are coming from. i know exactly what is going through your head when you meet that new person. I trust no one but myself to do right by me. I trust no one but myself to be honest. I know that makes me cold, and occasionally heartless to others but I am a great person, I know that when I let people in - I'm the most loyal friend they could have even if I prefer socializing to a minimum because I'm not a very social person on certain days.<br />
<br />
My point here is, it's not all that unnatural. My current girlfriend sees me as untrusting to her because I don't trust the motives of others around her. I second guess those motives and more than 90% of the time I am right. I see the negative in people, and because I accept the negative, I understand what they want. Currently she has befriended an old co-worker, who from the start I said he just likes her as more than a friend, she was insulted that I think people only want one thing from her, but as time carried on, their "going out for coffee" became going out for dinner, he dresses up in fancy clothes to take her out, and he's tricked he rinto thinking that he's going to get a tattoo she drew up for him, when really the tattoow as just his "bait" to get her to hang out with him. <br />
<br />
I'm just waiting for her to see it for herself, because when I mention it, she doesn't believe me, but because I'm unfortunately intuned to people's alternative motives, I know better.<br />
<br />
Hope this ramble made sense.

I'll bet you weren't looking for advice ' you were just wanting to make a statement