I Thought I Knew Who I Am

I AM not who they think I AM ... in fact they don't know me at all ... they though love the image they have of me ... that's a good thing :)

It's not so unusual when They do not know who I am ... but pretty unusual that EVEN I don't know who I AM !!!

I thought i knew, like about 5-6 years ago, but then i discovered that was not who I AM ... because the next I AM was there and it was again who I AM ... but that didn't last long too ... the next I AM and then the next and the next ... and ... so on ... !!!
I can not say, i was not, not even one of them ... i was all of them and the fact the next I AM steps into the game doesn't change anything about my deep deep connection and understanding of the prior I AM ...

... And i wanted so badly to know who I AM ...
then became a moment of complete ignorance ... i don't give a **** who I AM ... I don't give a **** what is all happening or what I AM is here to do ... I AM JUST NOTHING ... I AM JUST NOBODY ... nobody ...

The father of my son, has accused me again and more than once, 2 days ago that I AM a looser ... I AM a looser ... i agreed with him ... and that was hard to confess but i did it ... finally a day after what happened that day ... suddenly became a deep understanding ... a very silent voice from deep inside ... If I AM here to be that I AM that I AM ... then it must remain nothing from that I AM that i thought i knew who I AM ... and for sure nothing from that I AM who they think I AM ...

Ooooh .... that was such a relief ! ... I AM nothing ... I AM LOST ... I AM NOBODY ...

:)
HalehF HalehF
41-45
Aug 8, 2010