Fake

i hate to say it, hate to admit it. but i have to. my parents see me as their perfect daughter. i am a good person, i listen to them, i obey their rules, i agree with them on most things, i help out when needed and even when its not needed, i am a good influence on my little brother, i help them control my older sister, i am a genius, i do amazing in school, i have surpassed everyone in the family in school, i have never gotten into any type of trouble, i trust in them and i am "honest". i am what they want from me, the perfect daughter. but i am really not. im not the type that at home i am good, and when my parents are out of sight i am wild and crazy. yea thats not me. however theres is a side of me my parents don't know. they assume i am straight, but little do they know their perfect daughter is exactly what they despise.... a lesbian. i wish i could see that it is possible to come out to them and have a positive reaction,, but i know thats not going to happen. so for as long as i can hide it, i will continue being that perfect daughter, and while their not looking live my life with the girl i love.
monigoes monigoes
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 18, 2011

Love is a very complicated thing, and for all of us, it will never fade. No matter how hard your parents want you to be straight-if they found out-, they will never stop loving you. And if you're so afraid of disappoint them, then you'll end up losing who you are in the process of trying to please them. I offer this advice love. Take your wins in this life. Because if you lose yourself then everything else, not taking one risk is never worth not knowing. I'm witnessing one of my very dear friends and one of the most amazing people I know, lose himself because of the same reason, but he cannot deal with the pressure and I cannot reach him. I'm afraid it will push him to the brink of suicide. Don't be a statistic, make a difference an live life.

thanks, its all so hard and i usually get confused between real happiness and the fake kind. i'm not sure i can distinguish it anymore. i am a complete mess.