Walking Shadow

The person I am around others in life seems to be but a shadow of who I really am. I know this is because of the state of mind I am in most of the time. I have never really "lived" my whole "life". A gravestone could have my name on it and I wouldn't be able to protest anything different. I wonder why my body is still living, I wonder this everyday I wake up. Although I am not sure I have really ever waken up.

There is a Me that is seperate from these thoughts however.. I have had glimpses of it's existence before in the breaking of light through the black clouds that shine upon my lifeless mind. I wonder what it means, and wonder what I can do about it, but It leaves before I can understand it's existence...

Yet within the deep pool of my inner existence I sense the ripples on the surface.. telling of life. An urging to grow.. a sense of wonder and possibility. I cannot deny the existence of something greater, somethiing perhaps even worth living for. To grasp this thing, and to eventually bask in it's understanding will be my seeming only hope at really living.

Until then I will still wonder...
Azureskye Azureskye 18-21, M 4 Responses Jun 9, 2011

Your Response


ahh hun you are so sweet, thank you very much for your words.. I will do my best to find a life that is truly worth living..<br />
<br />
I wish you well too! *hugs* &lt;3

That's right, you are, and the only thing to do is to let the ice melt away and let the you that's always wanted out, to be free! Don't be scared, I know the cold blur can get comfortable and it's hard not to sink back in and freeze, but be strong!

aws, Thank you so much : ) &lt;3<br />
<br />
I know what you mean -- I am frozen inside a block of melting ice.

Wow this was written really well first off.<br />
<br />
Secondly, as you become closer to people in your life, and gain more friends, you become yourself more and more :).