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It Seems Like Forever

I remember times when I was a kid and my dad would tell me someone or other that he knew had told him what a polite young lady I was, and I'd think 'Boy, if they only knew how hard I worked at that; that it's not really me; what motivates it' (not that I really knew what motivated it). I wrote a poem seven years ago that sums it up pretty well, too.

The Masks I Wear

 
I play so many roles
Can you tell
Can you see
What is real

So many in one day
So many people fooled
Then one day I look to find
I've played my part so well
That I am lost

No more can I identify
The feelings that I have
Am I truly happy
Or is it all an act
Do I really laugh
Or am I crying
Beneath this facade

No one can truly know me
Those closest to me
Like others
Are fooled
My true self remains hidden
In the depths
Where even now
I am crying
For I am lost

And one of my favorite user names for the net is some variation of 'forever lost'.

I'm not who they think I am. I'm not sure who I am.
AReluctantBorderline AReluctantBorderline 26-30, F Jun 29, 2011

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