Faking It

Everyone at school thinks I'm the happiest person ever. I always smile, I get good grades, I participate in clubs, but I'm fake. I used to hate people who were two faced. But one day I realized I am two faced. I'm not happy or strong or confident. Everyday is a struggle to get out of bed. Everyday I lie and make up excuses, and everyone believes me. No one has a clue what's really going on. No one knows I am battling Anorexia and Bulimia. No one knows that I am depressed and angry. I feel so weak and sometimes I just want to surrender to these diseases and let them make me numb and kill me.
StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 6, 2012

i have the same situation...you have to hide all your worries inside that people around couldn`t suspect anything...because they just won`t understand...and you just smile and tell that everything is all right but actually you are so depressed and don`t know what to do...<br />
<br />
My parents have known that i have ED last spring, and it came out even worse because they could`nt help and made everything even worse, so now i`m pretending that everything is perfect but it doesn`t:(

You are not two face.<br />
Like everyone you have your problems. We all do.<br />
You do well in school and deserve others' respect.<br />
Take care of your health and be happy with what you have.

I do not think so!<br />
Just think what God gave you and just have a great look at the sky in the day or night or at the see<br />
and look deeper at everthing and sure you will be very happy just because you realize that God is with you neer you then ask him for help.

I know what you mean too. At work I'm a dynamo, the best, outgoing, humorous, social, et al. Everybody thinks I have life and happiness figured out. <br />
If you find a solution, I'll be interested. <br />
Good luck!