Faking It

Everyone at school thinks I'm the happiest person ever. I always smile, I get good grades, I participate in clubs, but I'm fake. I used to hate people who were two faced. But one day I realized I am two faced. I'm not happy or strong or confident. Everyday is a struggle to get out of bed. Everyday I lie and make up excuses, and everyone believes me. No one has a clue what's really going on. No one knows I am battling Anorexia and Bulimia. No one knows that I am depressed and angry. I feel so weak and sometimes I just want to surrender to these diseases and let them make me numb and kill me.
StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 6, 2012

Your Response


i have the same have to hide all your worries inside that people around couldn`t suspect anything...because they just won`t understand...and you just smile and tell that everything is all right but actually you are so depressed and don`t know what to do...

My parents have known that i have ED last spring, and it came out even worse because they could`nt help and made everything even worse, so now i`m pretending that everything is perfect but it doesn`t:(

You are not two face.

Like everyone you have your problems. We all do.

You do well in school and deserve others' respect.

Take care of your health and be happy with what you have.

I do not think so!

Just think what God gave you and just have a great look at the sky in the day or night or at the see

and look deeper at everthing and sure you will be very happy just because you realize that God is with you neer you then ask him for help.

I know what you mean too. At work I'm a dynamo, the best, outgoing, humorous, social, et al. Everybody thinks I have life and happiness figured out.

If you find a solution, I'll be interested.

Good luck!