I Made Me Up.

When I was a teenager I would lie alto and these lies seemed to have followed me through my life. Sometimes I wish I could just push the reset button or move where no one knows me. They are what I feel make up a great portion of how people perceive me. If they like me for who I am to them now I still feel like I tricked them into liking me. My boyfriend too.
TreeStitches TreeStitches
22-25, F
7 Responses Mar 5, 2007

Dont beat yourself up over a "lie" I personally would n't call it a lie,, maybe just "buttering" yourself up a bit. But please remember this statement. " If I believed every opinion other people had about me.... then who am I ? " think about that one. The fact is that other people's opinions of you dont actually matter, as long as your not hurting anyone. hey its you who has to live your life and in your body... and we all only have one life.... be who you want to be..

I feel the same way, but now those "friends" I made I do not even like or want around anymore so I do not care about the lies I told them.

Honesty will be appreciated. Better than for them to find out and blow it up in your face.

in a sense, you do become the lie. undoing that is not simple, not just because you have to confess, but also because the lie gets integrated into who you are now. it's not so easy to rip out, entwined as it is in your being ... and the choices include keeping the lie buried and concentrating on moving forward, and perhaps being less dishonest than you were before, mitigating the lie. because if you tell the truth, even the truth has to be told creatively, and that you lied becomes part of your public identity, too. the other question is ... why do you want to tell the truth now? to help your friends? or to help yourself? will the truth really set you -- or anyone else -- free?

What you wrote about is living authentically. When we are younger, this value can sometimes be less important to us, but as we grow older and seek to create our own sense of personal identity, we might seek to reexamine who we have been, and how we have presented ourselves to other people.<br />
<br />
Many people make things up when describing themselves. I would like to invite you to try on the idea that this is not that uncommon, but eventually as we mature, many people choose to be more true to themselves. This is where you seem to be now. <br />
<br />
Perhaps you could give yourself a little break and, if you like, you can slowly tell people (if certain subjects come up) that you had fibbed about it, and what the truth really is. You can explain that you did it because you wanted to be liked, but now that you are older you feel that having done that was silly, and you don't do it today. You can also tell your friends that since you value them as friends, you wanted to come clean so they can choose to be your friend, or not, but either way, they'll have the option of choosing ba<x>sed on who you really are, not who you might have wished you were in the past. If they were truly your friends to begin with, their choice will be clear.

Yeah, I've lied alot, I'm still lying to this day. I feel like when I was younger, I lied just to get away with things, and now I feel like I lie just because I have to protect people from knowing the truth. Lying takes a toll, so the less I lie the better I feel. Not to say you can't lie at all anymore, but try not to feel regrets.

I feel very similar. I lied a lot as a young teenager so people would like me. Now I have all these wonderful friends who still think some of those things were true and it feels like I just cleverly tricked them into becoming my friend, but they're not even my friend. They're "her" friend. That girl I made up because I didn't think I was good enough to be her.