Discouraged And Held Back

Most people would think that my life is pretty swell if they don't see me that often. Maybe in their minds, I have a cool job, a cool hobby, and money to spend as I wish but that's only partially true. My freelance boss is great, and most of the time, I do like my job but I'm way underpaid for what I do. The rest of the time, I feel alone. How is it that throughout the years, I couldn't manage to find more people who like the same things I do and would love to hang out. I've gone to three concerts alone this year and there's one coming up in September but I didn't get the ticket because I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it. I'm sick of not having company for all of the things that I want to do and it has stopped me from going out. It's frustrating. I don't know why but every year, there's a time when I get so overwhelmed by the idea that I'll always be alone that I cry in the shower until I run out of tears. I always bounce back though because I have to. It would be too pitiful to admit defeat. I would ask myself, "Is this how you want to go?" and the answer's always no, so go get your **** together.

I have to stay optimistic and pretend everything is fantastic. Maybe I can fool myself into thinking that I'm happy so that it'll be easier to meet people.
sayhellnotobs sayhellnotobs
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 12, 2012

try to find out what is important to you in life and set ob<x>jectives to achieve ... once you get there you will be proud of your accomplishments and off course that boosts your confidence. I believe everything comes with confidence and self discipline...never give up, your life is maybe more challenging and there is a reason why you were chosen to face all that.I wish i helped... i will always be there to listen n try my best to be useful.