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Discouraged And Held Back

Most people would think that my life is pretty swell if they don't see me that often. Maybe in their minds, I have a cool job, a cool hobby, and money to spend as I wish but that's only partially true. My freelance boss is great, and most of the time, I do like my job but I'm way underpaid for what I do. The rest of the time, I feel alone. How is it that throughout the years, I couldn't manage to find more people who like the same things I do and would love to hang out. I've gone to three concerts alone this year and there's one coming up in September but I didn't get the ticket because I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it. I'm sick of not having company for all of the things that I want to do and it has stopped me from going out. It's frustrating. I don't know why but every year, there's a time when I get so overwhelmed by the idea that I'll always be alone that I cry in the shower until I run out of tears. I always bounce back though because I have to. It would be too pitiful to admit defeat. I would ask myself, "Is this how you want to go?" and the answer's always no, so go get your **** together.

I have to stay optimistic and pretend everything is fantastic. Maybe I can fool myself into thinking that I'm happy so that it'll be easier to meet people.
sayhellnotobs sayhellnotobs 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 12, 2012

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try to find out what is important to you in life and set objectives to achieve ... once you get there you will be proud of your accomplishments and off course that boosts your confidence. I believe everything comes with confidence and self discipline...never give up, your life is maybe more challenging and there is a reason why you were chosen to face all that.I wish i helped... i will always be there to listen n try my best to be useful.