My Darkest Secret of 12 Years

bet th title caught ur attention. this will be difficult to, well, type, b/c i have told no one in the world. we moved when i was 5 years old. but b4 that my dad and mum were busy in th day, wot with jobs and such. and my new little sister. they sent me across th hall (we lived in a garden apartment) to be babysat. there, i was sexually abused. by her and her husband. so as it turns out, my first kiss wasnt stolen on a trampoline when i was 15, but by my babysitter(s) when i was 3. and 4. i wont go into detail of wot i remember them doin to me, if u REALLY wanna know ask me urself. to my knowledge im still a virgin. but i dunno, really. so that's th BIG reason of wot's wrong with me, why im crazy, as they say. i have several more issues tho. il tell later.
wildlark wildlark
18-21, F
8 Responses Apr 24, 2007

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wildlark, as you say about being crazy: "AS THEY SAY". Don't worry about 'they'. You aren't crazy, you are dealing with your life and your emotions as best you can. Keep sharing. As the others have said, it does help. Peace & Love.

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you! Even though I don't know you, if you ever EVER need to talk, drop me a line, and I promise I'll get back to you as soon as I'm able.

I was abused by my father when i was 8, everytime the thought came to my mind i would try to ignore it. I never told anyone about it, i kept it with me for a long time, i would even get physically sick when would think about it. I tried to supress that memory. I didn't even tell my sister who is my best friend beacuse i didn't want to brake the impression she had on my dad. I thought that i could sacrifice myself so that my sister and brother could have a normal life. Something that i couldn't have. Now im 25 years old and those memories were coming back to me stronger. i decided to tell my sister, it hurt me so much to see her cry. I doubted myself, i thought i had made a mistake by telling her.......but talking does help a lot, because i know she's there for me.

She might be crying for you.

firstly I feel real bad for you all. but one tihng struck me... why is this posted in "I am not who they think I am..." gals its not your fault or mistake that you were abused by your babysitters... its the fault of those psychotic idiots who did that to you. you people are what you are its your babystiiter who play angels in the outside world they are the ones pretending... I have been through a bit of abuse too... though its not that deep and painful as yours.. but dont regert it!! its not your mistake... and as far your virginity is concerned( wildlark) you are a virgin... here let me give you its new defination: you lose your virginity if you have whole heartedly given it up for the one you love... I hope I helped. Goodluck! stay well!!

yeh i have begun to tell a couple ppl and it does help. im sorry (both of you and anyone else) youve had to deal with that, it does suck. but how we deal with it says a lot about us, and essentially makes us stronger

when I was about 14 or 15, I was raped by a boy a little older than me... I felt like he stole my life, but I know that he didn't. I forgive, but do not forget. I learned from my mistake, and no guy has tried to harm me since, because I'm a cautious girl. I have a great life, with a loving supporting family, and I learned that it helped me to talk about it. It is different with every situation, but I know that talking helps... even more then typing... find someone to tell, and it feels better...

I'm so sorry that you went through that. I imagine its really hard to tell your parents something like that. I was sexually abused by a relative when I was 15 yrs old. I told my mom and she acted like she didn't really believe me. Now all these years later she asked me about it and I just told her I don't remember. I do remember I just don't feel comfortable talking to her about it.