The Truth

You may not have confidence, but you are strong. Strength is what gets us through the day.

We're always faking confidence. I go out side my room, put a smile on my face, straighten my back, and walk. But when I get back in the room, I crumble as easily as pie.

As long as you're not truly incompetent at work, like making everyone around you do your work for you (I've known people like this), I wouldn't worry about it.

I used to worry about feeling that way, like somehow I was absent from school the day they taught you about being a grownup. I felt like a kid faking it in a grownup world. Eventually I realized that pretty much everybody is in the same boat - all those people you envy who look like they're really and truly confident? Most of them are faking it too.

Employers know this - they know we're all trying our best to get through the day without screwing up too badly. And it's OK because they know that if they did fire you, they'd just end up hiring someone else who was also faking it.

You want to know something even scarier? All those people in power, from the president all the way down - they're mostly faking it, too. None of them really have all the answers. But unlike us, they can't admit it - too many people are depending on them to at least look like they know what they're doing.

Not that you "require" it or something, but, have you considered doing a good "personality development" course ?

JoeyPFoxx said in an earlier comment that a public speaking course, which was not related and he was not interested in, just did it because the Dad said it, still benefited him. I can somewhat relate to that. When I entered college, I attended one of those little nondescript personality development courses, which in today's cost will be half-a-dollar, run by some local trainer. I joined mainly because there was an excursion at the end, to a hill station which I had not been before. And a pretty girl (my college senior and my Mom's friend's daughter) joined. It actually benefited me and one of the good ones that helped me at that stage of my life.

I have heard good reviews about "Landmark Forum" course from friends. Look it up in your nearest city. They say it has helped them in similar situations. (I have not attended it).

If you are wary of corporate-looking courses or can't afford one, another alternative is Meditation or Yoga or some such technique that can release stress or enhance self-reassurance ?

I have been in the interviewer seat a few times, and I liked people who were honest, straightforward and admitted to the lack of Quality X or Quality Y. Who of us has all the best qualities ? I know not everyone is that, but there are interviewers who value a realisitic self-assessment by the candidate.

Also, I think, there may be a slight mismatch between your expectation and readiness. Jobs that pay well expect to fulfil a certain sense of responsibility, and unfortunately, may also not provide "job security", except in government. If you do not want responsibilities totally, it's unlikely that you may get traditional jobs of higher pay. There may still be options, in creative professions like writing, music. Or you can look for freelancing opportunities in your area of qualification and training, but that'll have its own uncertainty graph.

You might also want to consider the question : "Why do I not want to take up responsbility ?", the big why. You may not answer here or today, but you might need to reflect on it at leisure. Resolving that will lead to a lot of paths. It's the cause of your trouble and I think a common question that many face. Some of these courses can help you resolve that.

I am a employer and it is real hard to find that one or two people to do what is asked. I run a small rental company and I also have a Diabete/lowcarb barkery that is the hardest to find people who want to learn more about the food we all eat. But you seem strong in your quest to stay employed you'll find that one employer who will treat you with respect. Good luck

I believe you to be smart and confident. I really beleive your nervous or have small anxiety but posting here clearly shows you are brave.Showing courage=brave. Seeking help or advice is very BRAVE!! Smart but still brave. I am not a doctor but i clearly say after examing this: It's time: To be yourself. Quit trying so hard just relax and be yourself. I love you for you now you try :)! (Alien so no flirting ) lol

I think a lot of people feel the way you do. I agree I don't always love my job, but I have a child so I do my job because I want to be the one to provide for my child. Keep going on and doing your best. Things will get better.

Fake it until you make it http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html Better yet, fake it until you become it.

being brave is doing stuff in spite of being afraid.

How many of us work in the field of our primary training? Not many, I think. What I have found out is that if you are smart, and with two degrees I bet you are, the ability to think through things and reach applications or solutions is your greatest asset. I progressed by finding technical deficits in the companies I worked for, then trained myself for the position I defined. That, and creating influence by sharing knowledge.

And, acting confident in uncertain situations (as long as you do not act like you have skills that you do not have) is a skill honed with practice. You are not a fake. And, yes, responsibilities and initiatives are scary. What you need to do, to make clear to your supervisor/manager when you are given responsibilities, is to be certain that you are getting the authority and resources (and time is a resource) consistent with the level of responsibility you are given.

Good Luck! You are not alone thinking the way you do. That is why I am happy to be newly retired.

We all do what we have to do to survive. My biggest fear is getting a job by over selling myself and then not living up to what i said i could do and getting kicked to the curb later, so I tend to sabotage myself during the interview. Strength and weaknesses, it is like a constant shell game we have to play with the world.

Those who have doubts about themselves eventually become successful and we tend to meet the ******** that have no doubts as they are on their way down. No doubt...no character...only arrogance. You will make it.

Wish you well.

I wish I couldn't understand what you're talking about... I wish...

hey im 26, havent had a steady job since 2009 and im going back to school and honestly idk i can pass the class i do the work study and **** but no matter how hard u study practice when the pressures on i fold like a chair

Like Sonnet said, we're all faking it. I really have zero idea how im still working at that office.

When I was in college, I took a public speaking course. My father insisted on it. I'm glad he did.

My nature is to be shy and introverted. My job requires much the opposite. Being a father sometimes mandates that I stand up for my family in a way that makes me personally uncomfortable. But, we need to learn to survive. We learn about developing a facade.

So, in my public speaking class, the professor told us about Lee Iaccoca, the former CEO of Chrysler and a very eloquent public speaker. This world renowned leader had nerves so bad before a speech that he would often throw up prior to walking out onto the stage.

Only the people who are close to us and have earned our trust get to see the real us.

Very few of us are exactly who we appear to most.

So you're just like the rest of us then... We're all bluffing it sweetie. It's life. <3