Im Not So Perfect On the Inside

i can act like i have it all organised and perfect. all those kids that look to me every day for a 'role model'  -  its just lucky they cant see how unperfect my life is behind closed doors.

religion - i was christian, but now im so confused. my bf is athiest and so is my best friend. they both have great lives while i sit here in constant wondering of whether or not there is really a god...

family - they are good at the 'happy family' act.. try living here for more than 1 day. and now my brother is gone.. its me VS them..

happy? - i can go days on end facing the world with a smile on my face, but as soon as u close that bedroom door of mine and u see wat i am ACTUALLY thinking/feeling/going through, u would see the millions of tears that put me to sleep every night.

so people think they know me. but no-one does. i dont tell people about this - not even my closest friends or bf. they dont need to hear it

unexpected unexpected
18-21, F
2 Responses Jun 10, 2007

its hard i know. then there are those days where u think it has finally changed, but the next day it all starts over again.. i was at school today and i was about to sit an exam - all of a sudden i thought of my family and i burst out in tears. its like i cant stop them anymore.. they just come whenever they want..

I know exactly how you feel, my family is exactly like that. I would do anything to quit all the tears....