They = Almost Everyone

People say I put up a wall....maybe that's true. My family thinks I'm always happy (NO I'm not emo) and when I show that I'm sad, it seems like the whole world has fallen apart.So I try not to show that part of me. A part of my shield has something to do with the fact that others' emotions flood into me and I usually can't separate mine from theirs. I'm not good at that yet. The only time, I've found, when I feel just my emotions is when I have very strong feelings. I can't seem to fish out my true feelings most of the time. So it's a little hard for anyone to know the real me. There are a select few who I have let under my shield. Some I found on EP, while there's two or three where I am that know the true me. No shield, no barrier. But for those who are blocked by my shield, those are the ones who don't take time to know me. They think I'm the quiet little skinny chick in the corner who never talks and starves herself. In truth, I'm the complete opposite; I am actually quite loud when you get to know me, I just don't talk to ignorant people. I do not wish to be so tiny, in fact I hate it. Everybody thinks, oh it's so great to be so little! But no. I hate being so skinny, I've never been ideal for myself. Maybe people don't know the real me, because I make it so hard for them. I locked my heart and tossed the key. It's dark in there, so if you want to find the key you'll have to have a flashlight. Once you find the flashlight, you're close. But you must be able to fit through the door. One door, one key, one flashlight, no other way.
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8 Responses Mar 8, 2009

Hey, I feel the same way. Kinda creepy that you always manage to voice the words rolling around inside my head!! <br />
Love you!

Sometimes you put up walls to keep yourself safe. Sometimes the walls suffocate you, instead.<br />
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There are only two people who I have let close to me. One is my husband (who thinks I'm nuts) and the other is my best friend (who knows I'm nuts). That's enough for me. I keep my aquaintances on the other side of the gate, but I still like to meet and visit with them over the fence. <br />
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As for emotions: They are like pent up wild animals and sometimes they escape their cages, but it's better to keep the crazy ones locked up if possible. The good ones tend to be fun and entertaining when they're out, though.

add me as a friend and we will talk. I am really sad right now for many reasons.<br />
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It doestthe same thing to me. blow up eventually. emotions tend to build I have noticed. Sorry I didn't respond earlier dind't notice

*grabs a chisel and hammer for that shield*

I am a person who shows little emotion. <br />
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I show little of how I am or how lost I am. I show nothing at all.

youre funny, but its all good. :P

I mean comes off as cold and distant.

hahaha! I think I am able to mknow mostly the real you because I have known you for soooo long! lol. <br />
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but yeah I have a shield too, but mine blocks everyone from seeing my emotions, mainly the bad ones. Everyone knows when I am happy, but sometimes that is a cover.. lol. I dont know how I even got good at hiding emotion from people, I just do..haha, and I guess it comes of as cold and distant...