Its Like Standing In a Crowd..& Hearing Nothing

I have a great group of friends. that i put on an act for everyday. I am in the steryotyped group of "the good kids". always smiling, only listenin to the top 10 songs on itunes, watching american idol, americas next top model, high school musical, and prom night. Go to the beach for every vacation, shop at Jcrew and Anthropology, juicy tracksuits. and text for a living. i hate it. hate hate hate hate it. i have the reject ipod becaue they have never heard of any of the songs i listen to. music pulls me through eveything. i spend hours searching for songs that represent how i am feeling. i love watching football. i want to shop vintage! and watch CSI and oh i dont know, laugh at Flava of Love. Watch The Office with some one who has a dry sense of humor. travel...i want to travel the ENTIRE world. God made it all and there is not a single place i dont want to see. When i come home, i go somewhere else, figurativelly. I am a big dreamer. I am not that rich. therefore, i dream of becoming a pediatric surgeon and driving a black land rover and traveling the world. and being myself. i dont even know who i am because i have never gotton to be me! so who is me? i dont know! i feel like i have lost myself, trying to be someone else. i hate living under that sterotype, and have people think thats me when it is so not me! i am diffrent. i want to watch football but i also think ice skating is really facinating. i like lil wayne but also love Yiruma. I think untold stories of the e.r is mind-blowing but also i love to watch greys anatomy. there is so much out there in the world. and i hate being held down to one spectrum of it, if that makes sense. haha. i...i just want to be me. I am not who they think I am.


leb32894 leb32894
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 14, 2009

Fear not....there is life after your teen years and many out there who will accept you for you...make no apologies...fear nothing or no one...try things out...learn, grow, life without regret....peace...SS

This post is wonderful I think. Hang on to those emotions, they will pull you through everything because they are part of who you are. If you have a little strength in you, a little secret, something yours, that can pull you through anything, and get you where you want to be, driving that black land rover around the world.

I wonder now more than usual. <br />
<br />
are any of us who we think we are? <br />
<br />
I am serious. <br />
<br />
I am not sure who I am anylonger<br />
<br />
All I do is cry it seems when I am alone

just be your self....if your friends are really your friends then they will cool with who you aRe ......lg

alot of those shows are good!