Confused

I hide who i am...or should i say who i want to be just to please the ignorance in my family. they want me to be this "ms. do right" all the time, and I'm really getting tired of it. i want to act wild and go to parties and get drunk without anyone looking me in my face wondering whats has gotten into me. or talking about me behind my back. its so hard to live up to their expectations of me when i just want to live my life the way i want to live it. I'm young...i basically got past all the family drama because no one in my family held out longer than i have, or is without a child at my age. so what now? isn't it my turn to live?

Unfocused Unfocused
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 25, 2009

i have an exboyfriend who does that...its his way of trying to controll you...he's basically in a way saying "im not with you so i'm going to make every guy that comes across u seems like me." its one of those if i can't be with you no one can type things. i just hate puttin up fronts for people

People don't want me to live it seems. <br />
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My exboyfriend not being the only one. He has made me cry though this week already. and I don't cry in front of people usually.

i've been doing the same also. its hard to keep up with a positive demeanor when people don't want to let you live.

I read this and thought this is so me. <br />
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I hide myself from family and friends always. I don't show emotion in front of people. I rarely lose my temper also but lately its been getting the better of me. I lost it 3 times in the past week. :(