Not sure why I'm here on this site...I guess I'm searching for someone who can understand me and actually listen. A life built on lies is what I have. I'm a lost soul that is losing myself...I'm drowning each day. Little by little I loose me. But the truth of the matter is not even my husband knows who I really am. My life is a series of intriicate lies that is designed to make me out to be better than I actually am. The real me wants to be free of this existance. I want so desperately want to be free. My soul is trampled down by society, my husband, my family, insane debt...I feel as if I'm choking. I'm reeling with panic attacks...terrified that one day everyone will learn what a mess I really am. I am addicted.