People who meet me or at least, thought that they knew me, would describe me as happy,lucky and the one people would admired.
But the sad truth is, I knew none of the thoughts are true. I rarely show my real feelings, most of them are hidden under a convincing facade. I could even cover my eyes with my hand..smiling and laughing while tears streaming down without them noticing that I was sad.
My family would never guessed that I am capable of being this depressed. Because I always potrayed a happy, problem-free daughter. Maybe because I believed that I am loved by them. Or at least so. I will never reveal the darker side of me to anyone from my family, because..I want them to be happy with me. To not worry about a thing about me. I wanted to stay that way.
Only few of my close friends know who I really am.But that doesn't mean they knew everything about me either.
I guess this is the result of self-hatred & the anxiety of people hating the real me..;(