They Think

am not who they think i'am. i hide my pain, because even i dont undertand why i feel this way. life holds no joy, just brief glimpes, but the darkness overshadows it. i feel my mask slipping away, but i must smile, n laugh, hide the pain.

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2 Responses Mar 6, 2010

I've been there. Your like a box, and on the outside is what you want people to see, but you hide your real self within. Most likely it's not because you are sparing them, but you are sparing yourself from some pain or truth. It's dangerous to live like this and it's an allusion that you created and you can change it. Start with one small thing at a time. The first step may be to develop you identity not by what you are to other people, but what you are to yourself. For example.....sister, mom, student versus a good listener, kind, a individual who (you fill in the blank). So sit down and draw your box. One the outside list what you portray to other, on the inside what you feel you are. Take one small step, pick one little thing and share with someone. Don't every apologize for feeling some way, or before you start a sentence. You're in charge. Open up, each of us are beautiful packages even if we're wrapped in newspaper! :)<br />
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If you have a brief glimpse of joy and happiness, ask yourself what you can do to make it that way again. Please notice that I said what you can do, not how other people can change or act.

what happens if you don't hide it? i feel the same way, btw