I Wan To Scream....

How it is.....

 

I feel like screeming right now, just to let it all out to let loose and let go. I am 22, im suppose to be going out to parties every night and getting drunk, right? but instead here i am at home all weekend doing nothing excepting looking at movied and laying on my bed. i feel trapped, in prisioned, i just want to rip off all my clothing and run loose in the rain not careing what any one thinks, just be free for once to get out of my onw head and to just do what i really want to do.



I get up every morning, put on my clothes and go to work from 8-5 typical i suppose, except even what im not at work i have it on my mind, I cant seem to find a way to separate the two. I dreadfully want/need to.  Now at work i have to deal with these people and these deal line and everyone thinking that there issue is more emorting that the persons before them. which i suppose is typical.  iget up very monday wishing it was friday all over again. I mean is that normal?

any way i get thought every day, thank god. Then every week is the same thing all over again, i feel so trapped like i'm just in this circle going round and round and rond. It probably would of been better if i had a love life or some kind of a relationship out side of work at leat i would of had some one to share my day way, but i dont exactly let people in easily.

In the eyes of my co workes and family i am just there, good old heart87. but who the know is who i want them to know nothing else.

 

what i want......

Is to get out of my head for a change and do what comes to mind, I want to have sex with a female, i would love to get a rush by jumping out of a plane or go diving with sharkes.  i want to get drunk and hook up with a guy i just mean. i want ot wear what i want not caring what others might think, i want to have a three some....i want to tell evey one to f***** off.  The list goes on and on and on and i dont feel like listing it all.

 

I guess I've bee living my live by the standard of others and neglecting my wants and needs.  I fear that not living my life for me will be my bigest regret. I need to make a few miskate mess up a bit got out with the bad guy for a change.  I need don'nt want but need some excitment.  The bigest problem with that at least the bigest problem for me is where to start. How do i get out of this circle/prison that I am in?

I need to experience life, even if it meant that i will make mistakes

 

hearts87 hearts87
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Go and live. <br />
<br />
You know what to do. Have fun.

schedual the plane jump homegirl!