Not A Common Girl

I'm a straight 19-year-old girl that doesn't like dancing, drinking or smoking and therefore has trouble not getting depressed at parties. I only like the first two hours of a party when everyone is starting to drink and nobody has started to dance yet.

I've never kissed anyone, and frankly I wouldn't even know how. I'm always thinking and I imagine people let go during those moments know what to do. I'm pretty sure I'd be worried and wouldn't know what to do. Same goes for sex.

I don't wear skirts or make-up, and wear my hair in a ponytail 98% of the days of the year.

I'm an introvert and rather shy, while I try to be funny and charismatic, I don't think I succeed. I'm studying in college a career where everyone is an extrovert and a social butterfly. Plus, the world I will work in in the future it's the same thing (entertainment industry), so no loners like me.

I have problems being affectionate with people. I treat them respectfully, get in touch with them, invite them places and do favors for them, but it's impossible for me to say "I value you as a friend" or "I love you".Physically I'm quite stiff, especially for a girl, I don't really touch people often, in my latin-american country that's especially weird.

I watch a lot of (and I mean, a lot) of american and british TV shows, and while some of my "friends" do to, we don't like the same ones. I listen to indie music, music that most people haven't heard of, and when I introduce it to them, they don't like it 'cause they only like "happy music".

I'm not particularly ugly, but I'm not pretty either. However I have "Hirsutism", a condition that makes me be hairier than the average person. I'm trying to get treatment for it, but so far it isn't working.

Who the hell could ever want all this in a friend/girlfriend? See, when people say "there's someone for everyone out there" it's hard to believe it when I have all of this (and probably more) working against me.
roguecitiz roguecitiz
18-21, F
6 Responses May 31, 2012

As I see it, we (yes, "we") have just two possibilities: getting really really good at pretending, or moving to one of the many stereotypes of the "outsider" (which is a stereotype as any other). I really can't think of anything else. People don't appreciate people for who they are, but for the role they play.

It seems to me like you've a pretty GOOD handle already on "who I am"....... the real trick for many during adolescence is being TRUE to who you are....<br />
AS an adult who has lived through my own mistakes, I say KUDOS to you. I wish I had such a well defined (and well rounded) sense of self at you age. It would have saved me (and others) much suffering. <br />
The hair.... It's kinda like boobs, or tall/thin... to someone .... in the world... you are already the most beautiful thing they will ever desire.... so stay true to yourself, the cost of not doing so is too high to pay.

Thanks, those are kind words.

Conformity is entirely over-rated ;-) Do what you like to do, love who you love and you are ahead of the game already. I find drunken parties really boring.<br />
<br />
Kudos to you for walking your own path.

Be yourself,you don't have to drink,smoke or do social drugs to have a good time,become a people watcher and just sit back.Remember you have 2 eyes,2 ears and only one mouth.which means watch,listen and when have something to say do so.As you say your in "entertainment" business use what you see to your advantage and keep things you learn for future reference.But remember some of the best entertainers were far from normal which actually made them great.IE Spike Milligan,Peter Cook,Benny Hill,to name a few.

Learn to be comfortable with yourself, that's what I'm trying to do. It helps when you don't care what other people think, eventually you will attract someone who will like you although it may take a while and some hard work to get there. Enjoy being yourself, enjoy being different. Sometimes people get lost into this sea of mediocrity and "normalness" that is so boring and they lose any form of identity. Strive to be different! Change your perspective and life will be much better. Focus on improving yourself everyday, that's what I'm aiming to do. Best of luck!

All of what ? Im not reading anything wrong.Just a little shy !