I have endless characters.

I can’t quite figure out who I am. Sometimes I'm nice.. sometimes I like to be evil.. sometimes I like pink.. sometimes I hate pink.. some days I'm all about punk rock.. some days I'm all about preppy things like, hair, and makeup.. some days I want to be experior in intellect.. some days I'm just blah. I pick up accents. If someone has some sort of character to their voice, that's what I pick up and frequently begin to use when around them. High voices.. low voices.. weird voices.. the way their motions express themselves.. basically the way that they tend to say things. 

I suppose it's the journey of my mind, my true character, trying to find who she really is. I know who I am. I see her everyday in the mirror. I know what she likes, what she hates, what she disagrees on. I love her as she is, but the problem is getting the real her out in the open. The problem is wiping away the worry of opinion and fear of unacceptence of people that find the real her not to their liking. That is a statement easier said than done. More will than action. More will to face the consequence of the truth. The truth that I fear, hide, and restrain. The truth that I love, want, and know will make me the happiest. The truth that will bring me more happiness than acception alone. The happiness that I want, I also fear will bring me rejection. Which is to be chosen? Rejection and happiness, or acception and misery? I know the power I have to be free. To be the her that I know. Letting go of the fear is only the beginning. For my fear is rejection, but my dream is happiness.

zim zim
18-21, F
Apr 29, 2007