I have always felt left out and excluded. I've attributed that to my lack of following social norms and figured that many people are afraid of differences. Not being able to label you or stereotype you seems to make people really nervous. Like they always say "go your own way" and be an individual but they never mean it. I have learned that most people need others like themselves. Have you ever noticed that?

pallas pallas
3 Responses Mar 6, 2009

Yes, it's sad that, well lets keep calling them the BORING people because I dislike calling THEM the normal people--as if we're not, anyway, it's sad that they seem to feel that taking pot shots at us (quirky, goofy) is completely acceptable, but if we ever called them "boring or dull" to their face they'd be highly insulted. Sometimes you just sit there and wonder, are they REALLY this dull and unimaginative ALL the time? Makes me wonder what lurks in their closet sometimes, ha ha. But, if you're a sensitive person, it does make you hide that part of yourself lots of times in social situations. It's a real dilemma and like you said why can't we just celebrate all kinds of personalities. That's what makes life fun. I've gotten to the point at my age that I'll pass right by a boring person to get to know the quirky one, as you say, because they're soooooooooooo much more fun and/or interesting. Makes for a varied group of friends, which suits me just fine. So, you go and be yourself. Hip hip hooray for you!!!!!!!!!!

You know, I think you have something there. I have a hard time making and maintaining friendships and I think that might be part of it --- it seems they often want me to be like THEM. I think it's great to find similarities in people but why can't we celebrate the differences? All my life people have described me with words like "quirky" or "goofy" and once someone even said I was like a comic book character. <br />
What the ...????? And I realize they are saying these things to kind of minimize that I am different in some way, but what they really do is belittle me.<br />
And I spent a lot of years belittling myself, because people didn't take me seriously. Not anymore. At least not so much.<br />
Wow. That was some good therapy!

Yeah, I've sure noticed that! It's the old feeling of being a square peg in a round hole. It occurred to me just recently that the people who encourage you to be different are often writers because it's usually in a quirky novel, self-help book or article that you see that sentiment. And, writers are usually different! Maybe the "every day joe" isn't telling us to be different at all. And, yes, I do think the littlest "out of the box" thing you do or say does scare most people right out of their comfort zone. Pitiful them! <br />
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Sorry, you struck a nerve with me. I'm 61 years old and so sick of conforming to fit in our society that I could SCREAM!!!!!! I'm sick of dressing middle class, I'm sick of living in BORING suburbia, I'm sick of trying to please my husband and children, and I'm sick of denying my own personality so that I always appear "nice". If you're young, my advice is DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE TRYING TO FIT IN WITH BORING PEOPLE JUST TO MAKE THEM FEEL COMFORTABLE AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!!! When you get older you realize you've wasted your life on other people and you regret it BIG TIME!