What I Should Be If I Fit All the Stereotypes

I should be a tea-inhaling, sheep-screwing martial arts master who is most definitely overweight and waddles like a penguin because she is short. I should also love getting pissed all the time, be bonkers about football and be insanely attractive. My dress size means I shouldn't have any boobs, but my bra size means I should look like a cocktail stick glued to two basketballs. I should be a heartless ***** and a submissive, obedient little housewife. I should have multicoloured fatherless babies and be a slutty Einstein who is as intriguing as a brown paper bag. I should be a gold-digging ho at the same time as being a poor, innocent, bimbo who was brainwashed into marrying her husband. I should have rotting teeth, love parachuting, depressing emo rock music and consuming random people's pets.

I don't think I need to continue demonstrating how ridiculous some peoples assumptions are, do I?

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Mar 17, 2009