Obsessed With Someone...

I've been really depressed lately.I even had suicidal thoughts.Last year I met someone online,and slowly I started to become obsessed with this perosn.But I always want to know what she does,where she is and so on.And then she stopped talking to me.I don't know the reason,but she might have noticed that I am obsessed with her.Because I used to send her about 50 text messages every day.Imagine that!! I have so many pictures of her on my phone and it hurts so much when I look at them... :(

Now she never answers my calls and never replys to my emails or anything.I have only talked to her once on the phone,when I wanted to hear her voice.That was on New Year's Eve.I don't talk on the phone so much because I'm really shy and kind of afraid...you know,there's always the fear of making mistakes and stuttering or saying something wrong.And even worse,these awkward silences...But yeah,I talked to her once and it was alright.And her voice was so beautiful... :( And she's so pretty.Not the kind of girl who would show off or anything.I would do anything to look like her.But that's another story.By the way,it's not a crush,because she's a girl too (like me). I just wanted to have a close friend.

I think I get attached to people so quickly because I always feel lonely and sad and when I talk to somebody who seems to understand me, I feel happier.But that never lasts long enough and after that it becomes even worse than it was in the beginning.How come every time I get too happy,something bad has to happen?

Anyone else who feels the same way? 

emily081 emily081
13-15, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2010

Hey, it's been a long time since you wrote this but I just wanted to tell you that I totally know what you felt. I've been there SO many times. It's just too hard. I get obsessed with people too easily and it's just difficult to focus on something else or to stop thinking about them.