A Long Time Coming

two years of hate.. Hate for myself, my life and almost everyone who ever was part of my existanc.  I am really not sure what changed from three months ago. Things are not perfect, hell they aren't even good! However somehow I am ok with it. I feel comfortable as myself.. It is almost strange I have often thought I must be 30 seconds away form a mental breakdown it must be the "calm before the storm" or something like that but then nothing bad happens. Much to wonderful to complain about but way to bizzare not to wonder about. .........I am happy?.......  0_o    Yea ok I must be. I often think to myself  "this is how normal people live"  The pain of day to day life has turned to marveling in the small / insignificant  things I would have never noticed before. I used to wish I would die and now I wish I would'nt have wasted so much time wallowing

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Feb 16, 2010